And holla at Brek Shea for achieving supersub status with your best Nani imitation. That ball was definitely going in, but fuck it let's risk the chance I was offsides and smash it in anyway. Luckily for Landon 'Rogaine" Donovan you weren't, but oy vy that's the name of the game.
Dear Amy: I am worried that my husband of 20 years is gay and will eventually divorce me. We have three children. We both want a stable family life, but I just can't help thinking that our lackluster marriage will eventually end.
I have no proof of any homosexual thoughts/actions, but my husband has been growing ever more distant over the years. I have voiced suspicions of his orientation at times (he has several gay family members), but he denies it.
Intimacy always has to be initiated by him, and it may only occur once or twice a month. We have been to marriage counseling, but we made no progress.
The main problem for me is the lack of affection or real devotion from him. It seems he prefers to avoid me by working late hours and always going to bed later than I do.
We both cope by pretending there are no issues but I am afraid he may jump the gun and divorce me. He is a hardworking, nice guy (to everyone) so he is not unbearable. I only work part time and cannot support myself at this time. Please tell me if there is something I should be doing.
— Worried Wife
Dear This Can Only End Well,Man you are a woman aren't you. You have "no proof of any homosexual thoughts/actions" but you think that he's gay anyway. What kind of thought process is this? "Well Smith we have no proof he did anything" "DAMNIT JOHNSON I DONT HAVE TIME FOR 'PROOF' THE MUFACKA IS GUILTY!" Once again, try communication (tots different from excommunication, btdubs...which does sound like the conversation you would have with a former husband, on a funny side note #hey-o). Talk to the bruh and figure out what's bothering him. For a gender that loves to fucking talk yall have some SERIOUS TROUBLE talking when it matters. God damn.
Dear Amy: I'm 20 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for five years. We are planning on getting married once we both finish school. I'm currently living with my parents so I can pay for school. My sister "Mary" is 16; she is an aggressive person and knows how to irritate a person to the point that things blow up. She is my mother's baby and has always gotten away with her behavior.
My boyfriend also has a quick temper and gets irritated with her treating me badly. After a huge screaming match my boyfriend decided he no longer wants to be around her, including holidays and family vacations. I feel like I'm being forced to choose family or the man I plan on spending my life with.
I know I'm young but I love him and my family loves him. I've communicated to my sister and boyfriend that there needs to be a change in the way we interact. Both tell me that it'll never happen and there is no point in trying. What do I do?
— Sad
Dear Hey someone tried communicating!,Not sure how Mary getting away with her behavior is relevant (unless you think Mommy should administer some slappy-slap, which with you white folk I always agree is necessary), but that's alright, it appears youre just venting. Now you tried talking to both of them, which is usually what I beat-around-the-bush to, so we're gonna have to try something new here...hmmmmm...let's see...now I am a decent player at head-games, so I have some advice. Don't let either one dictate your actions, otherwise you concede your authority to them. Your boyfriend seems to like the rest of your family, and vice versa, so that works out. You could just turn the tables and become a bitch to your sister's friends, but perhaps that's what you're alluding to when you state she gets away with shit. Hmmm hmmm hmm. Personally I'd say screw all of you guys I'm leaving, but I'm thinking you're too family lovey-dovey weak-willed like that. I'd just tell them both to not talk to each other (excommunicate! ahahahahah). If you let your sister ruin your relationship with the fam, you're letting her control you. And the bf with the sister, you're letting him control you. Neither seems particularly beneficial to you. So I say just tell them both to not interact in any humanly way when they're near each other. Idk tell the sister to fuck off who gives a shit about her she sounds like a turrible person anyway. Or idk talk to your parents? Gah fuck I don't care what happens here do whatever
Dear Amy: I had to laugh out loud when I read the letter from "Under Pressure in D.C", whose 3-year-old son carried his blanket around!
I'm 55 years old and still have my blanket. It has been repaired by my grandma, borrowed by friends who faced crises, traveled Europe and Mexico, and celebrates with me on my birthday.
My blanket is a tattered wreck now, but I intend to frame it with a little hammer to break the glass in case of emergency!
— Blanketed in Seattle
Dear you shithead of a human,Normally I don't consult Amy because she says dumb things in her responses, but I HAD to know what she said to this: "I find these testimonials to 'blankie' heartwarming." Now if you're freakign four and have a security blanket sure I can follow that...you're 4. If you're, oh, I don't know, A FUCKING ADULT WHO HAS ADULT PROBLEMS BECAUSE HE'S A #@)$(@#!@)(#@$()@*!@#*#*( ADULT, the fact that you have a blanket is downright pathetic! What is it supposed to symbolize? Your lost youth? Are you so shitty/your problems so hard that you have to sit and pretend life is all better and someone is magically fixing your problems? You know that doesn't do anything? Mickey isn't gonna come and poof the shit away.
ugh now i'm just fucking pissed off at america ughhh lemme just go cry about it to my fucking blankie waaah waaah waaaaaah #onlyamericacouldhavethisproblem
something positive to end this on, because i'm so angry right now and Riley is absolutely hilarious
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