Sunday, June 30, 2013
#HEREWEGO
GOOOOD BLEEEEESSSSS AMMMMMURRRRICCAAAHHHHH
land that i love
stand beside her, and guide her
thru the night with a light from 1 mile away at bojangles!
from the mountains, to the prairies,
to the oceans, tan with seasoning!
god bless america, there's a bojangles, near, my home!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Oh and...
...WHO THE FUCK ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADS CRAP THAT IS FREE ALREADY?
http://thepiratebay.sx/torrent/6013193/VLC_Media_Player.1.1.5.final.updated(windows_all).aaaevilacharya
OHMIGOD.
http://thepiratebay.sx/torrent/6013193/VLC_Media_Player.1.1.5.final.updated(windows_all).aaaevilacharya
OHMIGOD.
Twas the night before Friday and all through the house
not a Kreacher was stirring not even a mouse.
First off, i'm way too tired for this shit so this'll be like a table of contents for me to expand on later on the exciting parts of the day.
Also for all the credit Rowling gets for "masterful storytelling" and "creativity"...we need to put a big ol pause button on that horseshit and talk about her creativity in names.
Remus Lupin - homeboy is a werewolf, and his last name is lupin...which isn't that far from lupus...canus lupus...OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE GRAY WOLF SPECIES NAME, DONTCHA? also, Remus? Seriously the only other Remus ever was the founder of Rome.
Voldemort. From the french Vol de Mort. How you wanna play me JKR i took french. Mort means death. de is a participle or something meaning "of" or "from." and 'vol' means "theft" or "flight"...so hoss's name means "theft of death" or "flight from death" #BreakinOutSomeRealCreativity. Tolkien invented his own goddamn language, woman! Keep up! WTF does Sauron even mean in "normal" human tongues? Don't worry, take ya time I'll wait.
Draco Malfoy - oh you mean the Slytherin symbol is a snake...Draco is a snake constellation...btw Saruman doesnt mean anything either, to save you some time.
Although credit is due where credit is earned...Hermione is a wild name that nobody had ever heard before. JKR was playing scrabble and had a Riddikulus arrangment of tiles.
Weasley - I'm sure there's something about WEASELS living in a BURROW.
Also yo Raul and I, we balled for 2 straight hours and I needed some vittles so I had to hit up the alien time machine right so we were driving up Dan Allen to Hillbrugh, and we saw all these orientation kids...so wat do? Rolled down the window and yelled at dozens of chirren "DONT GO HERE" and "GO BACK HOME"...reminded me of the time freshman year when i was strollin down Daniels way and some tour group stopped and asked me why I chose State and I was like "cuz it was 20x cheaper than Berkeley."
But in my defense, i was wearing my bamf Cal hat, and I was still superpissed about replacing a view of the Bay Area and Golden Gate Bridge with a view of fuckign Jaden "i'm a lying moron" Johnson or whatever his goofy name was.
Some other things happened today too: locked myself out again, ate lunch, wondered if weather people understand that "100% chance of precipitation" does NOT mean "sunny weather and blue skies" cuz that totally delayed my ass getting kicked at some tennis. #whew
Watched two fucking legends of the game goalkeep their way through the most interesting 0-0 match ever. Reminded me of that time I accidentally saved a PK cuz my shoe fell off and slowed the ball down enough for me to jump on it. Holy moses did Enloe sucked at sports.
Also I heard some people over the last few days about the whole DOMA strikedown (in the most commonsense idea since "yo as it turns out black people ARE THE #@$#@(*@)#$(*!@!@ SAME as white people #omg #nowai #yahweh") by saying "just cuz its legal doesnt mean its right":
a) who the fuck are you thinking that? Are ya God? No? Oh okay then, get the fuck off your imaginary high horse your retardship
b) who gives a shit what the Bible says? 1) you dont know if its true 2) i thought God loved everyone equally and men were created in his image uhoh looks like God might like rainbows! 3) Separation of Church and State...i'd go into details about what that means, but it seemed pretty easy to understand from the title. but it took the church like 400 years to figure out "shit, the earth isn't the center of everything" so i'm thinking by 123094 gay people will be acknowledged as just as human as the priests touching little boys.
c) what the hell is wrong with you? how does george takei and nph getting married affect ANYTHING about your life? oh no adam and steve are married...you still have the same problems you did today
d) "a right to life, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF FUCKING HAPPINESS" gay people bug you? guess what, that's YOUR problem to deal with not theirs. holy crapola.
No idea what else i wanted to say, cuz now I'm all pissed at religious morons. Oh, mormons, I hope to everything you send Elder Timmy and Elder Jonas to my door tomorrow I do I do I do.
First off, i'm way too tired for this shit so this'll be like a table of contents for me to expand on later on the exciting parts of the day.
Also for all the credit Rowling gets for "masterful storytelling" and "creativity"...we need to put a big ol pause button on that horseshit and talk about her creativity in names.
Remus Lupin - homeboy is a werewolf, and his last name is lupin...which isn't that far from lupus...canus lupus...OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE GRAY WOLF SPECIES NAME, DONTCHA? also, Remus? Seriously the only other Remus ever was the founder of Rome.
Voldemort. From the french Vol de Mort. How you wanna play me JKR i took french. Mort means death. de is a participle or something meaning "of" or "from." and 'vol' means "theft" or "flight"...so hoss's name means "theft of death" or "flight from death" #BreakinOutSomeRealCreativity. Tolkien invented his own goddamn language, woman! Keep up! WTF does Sauron even mean in "normal" human tongues? Don't worry, take ya time I'll wait.
Draco Malfoy - oh you mean the Slytherin symbol is a snake...Draco is a snake constellation...btw Saruman doesnt mean anything either, to save you some time.
Although credit is due where credit is earned...Hermione is a wild name that nobody had ever heard before. JKR was playing scrabble and had a Riddikulus arrangment of tiles.
Weasley - I'm sure there's something about WEASELS living in a BURROW.
Also yo Raul and I, we balled for 2 straight hours and I needed some vittles so I had to hit up the alien time machine right so we were driving up Dan Allen to Hillbrugh, and we saw all these orientation kids...so wat do? Rolled down the window and yelled at dozens of chirren "DONT GO HERE" and "GO BACK HOME"...reminded me of the time freshman year when i was strollin down Daniels way and some tour group stopped and asked me why I chose State and I was like "cuz it was 20x cheaper than Berkeley."
But in my defense, i was wearing my bamf Cal hat, and I was still superpissed about replacing a view of the Bay Area and Golden Gate Bridge with a view of fuckign Jaden "i'm a lying moron" Johnson or whatever his goofy name was.
Some other things happened today too: locked myself out again, ate lunch, wondered if weather people understand that "100% chance of precipitation" does NOT mean "sunny weather and blue skies" cuz that totally delayed my ass getting kicked at some tennis. #whew
Watched two fucking legends of the game goalkeep their way through the most interesting 0-0 match ever. Reminded me of that time I accidentally saved a PK cuz my shoe fell off and slowed the ball down enough for me to jump on it. Holy moses did Enloe sucked at sports.
Also I heard some people over the last few days about the whole DOMA strikedown (in the most commonsense idea since "yo as it turns out black people ARE THE #@$#@(*@)#$(*!@!@ SAME as white people #omg #nowai #yahweh") by saying "just cuz its legal doesnt mean its right":
a) who the fuck are you thinking that? Are ya God? No? Oh okay then, get the fuck off your imaginary high horse your retardship
b) who gives a shit what the Bible says? 1) you dont know if its true 2) i thought God loved everyone equally and men were created in his image uhoh looks like God might like rainbows! 3) Separation of Church and State...i'd go into details about what that means, but it seemed pretty easy to understand from the title. but it took the church like 400 years to figure out "shit, the earth isn't the center of everything" so i'm thinking by 123094 gay people will be acknowledged as just as human as the priests touching little boys.
c) what the hell is wrong with you? how does george takei and nph getting married affect ANYTHING about your life? oh no adam and steve are married...you still have the same problems you did today
d) "a right to life, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF FUCKING HAPPINESS" gay people bug you? guess what, that's YOUR problem to deal with not theirs. holy crapola.
No idea what else i wanted to say, cuz now I'm all pissed at religious morons. Oh, mormons, I hope to everything you send Elder Timmy and Elder Jonas to my door tomorrow I do I do I do.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Had to happen sooner or later...
So last night in a complete collapse of surprising proportions (based on how they saw Tor-ahn-tooooe blow a 4-1 lead) the UCLA Bruins beat Mississippi State in baseball 3-1. Wait. Wrong wanna-be-Bears. The Bahstahn Brooins choked away a 2-1 lead with an amazing lack of interest in actually ensuring OT occurred. It's almost like "oh well damn Chitown tied it up. OT again, boys!" and Chicago was like "nigga wut. we'z bout to blow this joint up like it was on the boston marathon HEY-O" but at the very end when el commish came out with the world's (like 10th...let's be honest, Canada, parts of America and northern Europe+Russia play this sport. That's like, a third of an India, combined) most famous trophy, bAWWWWWWstaen fans could just keep booing at el retardo del commando.
And yo what was up with Nadal? I watched that game, hoss' backhand was comparable to mine! And ifyou're a pro tennis player you're anyone with two hands and two feet, that's not a good comparison. So that was unexpected. And mini-me was bummed about it too, which just adds to the intriguing list of similarities.
But the strangest part of the day was when I was just strollin around the neighborhood, getting my walk on, when I ran into the younger sister of an old buddy of mine, and we stopped to briefly exchange some of the usual pleasantries, before homegirl busts out "so would you like to take me to dinner?" and i was just like "yo did you just ask me to ask you to dinner because a watdafuq i haven't seen you in years" and she replied all casually "yeah I am i thought it would be nice" and that's how Allie and I are gonna end up going to Zaxby's tonight #HowAshwinMetYourMother
At first yall might be concerned cuz Zaxby's is fairly pricey fastfood, but no worries on that front I found some coupons. Should be fun. I seriously don't understand the allure of going to nice places. Is Zaxby's good? Uhh, hell yes it is. Does it fill you up? Damn straight that meal is all done and dusted. Is (fancy meal) good? Probably, but its got so many retarded french and italian sounding names to make it sound even fancier youre not even sure what the fuck you're eating. Does it fill you up? not necessarily these jokes of restaurants don't always provide sufficient proportions since they also want you to get appetizers and hors doevasdvers and other bullshitty sounding things. Which saves me money? Oh I know I know! ZAXBYS!
#BasicMath
Oh and in sadder news mein edesapa discovered some facts yesterday that weren't really good for me:
7 undergrads in my ChE 711 class (6 of us + joey audited)
6 of said 7 were valedictorians
Of the 6 going to grad school: MIT Caltech Cornell Princeton and wherever Andy decides to go.
So yeah, between this new and fun "topic" and the fact that my sister is driving mein car around town before complaining "it's out of gas" (NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK FILL IT UP YOU NUTCASE), life's just peachy.
It's times like these I turn to Da Jesus Book, and I get a complete headache trying to read it. And then I have a valid reason to take ibuprofen.
#HailState
And yo what was up with Nadal? I watched that game, hoss' backhand was comparable to mine! And if
But the strangest part of the day was when I was just strollin around the neighborhood, getting my walk on, when I ran into the younger sister of an old buddy of mine, and we stopped to briefly exchange some of the usual pleasantries, before homegirl busts out "so would you like to take me to dinner?" and i was just like "yo did you just ask me to ask you to dinner because a watdafuq i haven't seen you in years" and she replied all casually "yeah I am i thought it would be nice" and that's how Allie and I are gonna end up going to Zaxby's tonight #HowAshwinMetYourMother
At first yall might be concerned cuz Zaxby's is fairly pricey fastfood, but no worries on that front I found some coupons. Should be fun. I seriously don't understand the allure of going to nice places. Is Zaxby's good? Uhh, hell yes it is. Does it fill you up? Damn straight that meal is all done and dusted. Is (fancy meal) good? Probably, but its got so many retarded french and italian sounding names to make it sound even fancier youre not even sure what the fuck you're eating. Does it fill you up? not necessarily these jokes of restaurants don't always provide sufficient proportions since they also want you to get appetizers and hors doevasdvers and other bullshitty sounding things. Which saves me money? Oh I know I know! ZAXBYS!
#BasicMath
Oh and in sadder news mein edesapa discovered some facts yesterday that weren't really good for me:
7 undergrads in my ChE 711 class (6 of us + joey audited)
6 of said 7 were valedictorians
Of the 6 going to grad school: MIT Caltech Cornell Princeton and wherever Andy decides to go.
So yeah, between this new and fun "topic" and the fact that my sister is driving mein car around town before complaining "it's out of gas" (NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK FILL IT UP YOU NUTCASE), life's just peachy.
It's times like these I turn to Da Jesus Book, and I get a complete headache trying to read it. And then I have a valid reason to take ibuprofen.
#HailState
Monday, June 24, 2013
Biblical Poem Of The Day
Mary had a son named Jesus
Mary had a son named Jesus and he was the Lamb of God
Meaning that Mary had a little Lamb
whose fleece was white as Arabia (since he wasn't white).
And everywhere that Mary went,
the Lamb was sure to follow ("You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too" ~ Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn)
It followed her to school one day,
which was against the rule (Separation of Church and State taken to a whole new level, which is odd insofar as this is the base level of SCS, something we still haven't really achieved)
HALFTIME FACEBOOK ANOUNCEMENT:
It made the children laugh and play
to see a Lamb at school (it took the Church 400 years to apologize to Galileo, so the chirren were laughing at the Chuch for being incredibly dense about it all)
And so the teacher turned it out,
but it still lingered near (well surprise surprise someone disagreed with el churcho and got excommunicated)
And waited patiently about,
till Mary did appear ("You guys, same ting. Hang in dea! Stay strong inside! Almos time fo da Boss Jesus fo come back" From James 5:8)
"Why does the Lamb love Mary so"
the eager children cry ("Da angel guy say, "God's Spesho Spirit goin come ova you. Da God Dass Mo Importan Den All Da Odda Gods, his power goin cover you. An dat baby you goin get, God goin call him 'Spesho Fo Me' and 'God's Boy'" Luke 1:35)
"Why, Mary loves the Lamb, you know"
the teacher did reply. ("You guys ack jalike you donno dis: Da peopo dat no like do da right ting, no way dey goin get God fo dea King. No let nobody bulai you guys fo make you do wrong! Da guys dat fool aroun da wahines, da peopo dat go pray to da idol kine gods, da peopo dat sleep wit da odda guyʼs wife o husban, da guys dat go fool aroun da odda guys fo money, da mahu kine guys," Numba 1 Fo Da Corint Peopo 6:9)
Man bible study is gonna be too much fun. Shoulda gotten this YEARS ago.
Mary had a son named Jesus and he was the Lamb of God
Meaning that Mary had a little Lamb
whose fleece was white as Arabia (since he wasn't white).
And everywhere that Mary went,
the Lamb was sure to follow ("You cannot be a leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow, too" ~ Speaker of the House Sam Rayburn)
It followed her to school one day,
which was against the rule (Separation of Church and State taken to a whole new level, which is odd insofar as this is the base level of SCS, something we still haven't really achieved)
HALFTIME FACEBOOK ANOUNCEMENT:
It made the children laugh and play
to see a Lamb at school (it took the Church 400 years to apologize to Galileo, so the chirren were laughing at the Chuch for being incredibly dense about it all)
And so the teacher turned it out,
but it still lingered near (well surprise surprise someone disagreed with el churcho and got excommunicated)
And waited patiently about,
till Mary did appear ("You guys, same ting. Hang in dea! Stay strong inside! Almos time fo da Boss Jesus fo come back" From James 5:8)
"Why does the Lamb love Mary so"
the eager children cry ("Da angel guy say, "God's Spesho Spirit goin come ova you. Da God Dass Mo Importan Den All Da Odda Gods, his power goin cover you. An dat baby you goin get, God goin call him 'Spesho Fo Me' and 'God's Boy'" Luke 1:35)
"Why, Mary loves the Lamb, you know"
the teacher did reply. ("You guys ack jalike you donno dis: Da peopo dat no like do da right ting, no way dey goin get God fo dea King. No let nobody bulai you guys fo make you do wrong! Da guys dat fool aroun da wahines, da peopo dat go pray to da idol kine gods, da peopo dat sleep wit da odda guyʼs wife o husban, da guys dat go fool aroun da odda guys fo money, da mahu kine guys," Numba 1 Fo Da Corint Peopo 6:9)
Man bible study is gonna be too much fun. Shoulda gotten this YEARS ago.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Alfred Hitchcock's Worst Nightmare...
...a movie by M Night Shaymalamadingdong
So Kanye and whatsherface Kardashian had a baby...and called the little thing North. Now I aint sayin she a gold digger, but she aint hanging with no broke (PAULA DEEN YOU RACIST SLUT).
Seriously though...who gives a flying fuck about Paula Deen? She cooks shit. She has a TV show about cooking...and she's not even funny or intelligent or anything! She has a slow southern drawl, like someone is continuously curbstomping her larynx, and she's reinforcing gender stereotypes about how women are only useful in the kitchen. And people going "omg black people say it to each other all the time"...hey crackahs theres a big difference between "yo mah nigga lets go hit up churchs and then the courts" and "SOME NIGGER PUT A GUN TO MY FACE AT THE BANK TODAY THE LITTLE SHIT."
Context, motherfucka, do you know it? Holy jesus between the Zimmerman trial (omg six women what does this even MEAN) and this shit (paula deen paula deen paula deen...man i'm gonna go spit on her grave someday for ruining news broadcasts...tell me about the traitor Snowden, not some fat lardball who cooks on a useless cable network, or the floods in Calgary and India, or the riots in choose-your-favorite-country, or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE) i'm starting to figure out how native US-ians get radicalized.
ALSO DEAR JEWS JONATHAN POLLARD IS A BACKSTABBING LICEHAVING SHITEATING SHEEPFUCKING ASSLICKING BOOTSTRAPPING REDCOATLOVING TRAITOROUS BITCH. THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU. TELL YOUR ALAN DERSHOWITZ-LOVING KOSHER ENTITLED WARMONGERING MOSSADIAN DERRIERS TO STOP BEING DOUCHES.
Hey guys I solved all our terrorism problems. If we take our 3 BILLION a year out of Israel, maybe everyone else will stop hating us and we can put that to fix our OWN country, not some other one that steals from us CONTINUOUSLY. Los Alamos National Lab? Mossad worked with CSIS (China) to break in and steal all sorts of nuclear data. The Israelis have a secret nuclear lab that they lie to the US about ALL the time. And what do we even get from Israel? 9/11? The USS Cole? This is the world's worst friendship. Even Ron Weasley wasn't this harmful.
So yeah the baby is North freaking West. I'm sure there's some joke about Kim Kardashian being the North West passage (gurl she got a HUGE vajayjay), or some badass MS Paint job with a Northwest aircraft...but I'll leave such crude humour to reddit.
My take on the situation is that North West should marry Oliver North's grandson, making her North North. Or if she feels all empowered and shit, North North-West.
Oh and yo my boyyy Jerry is in the Raleigh situation.
#HailState
So Kanye and whatsherface Kardashian had a baby...and called the little thing North. Now I aint sayin she a gold digger, but she aint hanging with no broke (PAULA DEEN YOU RACIST SLUT).
Seriously though...who gives a flying fuck about Paula Deen? She cooks shit. She has a TV show about cooking...and she's not even funny or intelligent or anything! She has a slow southern drawl, like someone is continuously curbstomping her larynx, and she's reinforcing gender stereotypes about how women are only useful in the kitchen. And people going "omg black people say it to each other all the time"...hey crackahs theres a big difference between "yo mah nigga lets go hit up churchs and then the courts" and "SOME NIGGER PUT A GUN TO MY FACE AT THE BANK TODAY THE LITTLE SHIT."
Context, motherfucka, do you know it? Holy jesus between the Zimmerman trial (omg six women what does this even MEAN) and this shit (paula deen paula deen paula deen...man i'm gonna go spit on her grave someday for ruining news broadcasts...tell me about the traitor Snowden, not some fat lardball who cooks on a useless cable network, or the floods in Calgary and India, or the riots in choose-your-favorite-country, or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE) i'm starting to figure out how native US-ians get radicalized.
ALSO DEAR JEWS JONATHAN POLLARD IS A BACKSTABBING LICEHAVING SHITEATING SHEEPFUCKING ASSLICKING BOOTSTRAPPING REDCOATLOVING TRAITOROUS BITCH. THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU. TELL YOUR ALAN DERSHOWITZ-LOVING KOSHER ENTITLED WARMONGERING MOSSADIAN DERRIERS TO STOP BEING DOUCHES.
Hey guys I solved all our terrorism problems. If we take our 3 BILLION a year out of Israel, maybe everyone else will stop hating us and we can put that to fix our OWN country, not some other one that steals from us CONTINUOUSLY. Los Alamos National Lab? Mossad worked with CSIS (China) to break in and steal all sorts of nuclear data. The Israelis have a secret nuclear lab that they lie to the US about ALL the time. And what do we even get from Israel? 9/11? The USS Cole? This is the world's worst friendship. Even Ron Weasley wasn't this harmful.
So yeah the baby is North freaking West. I'm sure there's some joke about Kim Kardashian being the North West passage (gurl she got a HUGE vajayjay), or some badass MS Paint job with a Northwest aircraft...but I'll leave such crude humour to reddit.
My take on the situation is that North West should marry Oliver North's grandson, making her North North. Or if she feels all empowered and shit, North North-West.
Oh and yo my boyyy Jerry is in the Raleigh situation.
#HailState
Saturday, June 22, 2013
BAO BAO BAO BAO BAO BAO BAO BAO
Quick shoutout to my boy Bao, who's gonna be a rich man once he follows in the footsteps of every other Duke grad and goes into some sort of consulting firm.
So I read that "Elliot Avent receives flak for pushing Rodon into starting." UHHHH WAT. Ese pitched on SUNDAY. We played THURSDAY. Over to Rebecca Black for more:
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday (1)
Tuesday (2)
Wednesday (3)
Thursday (4)
Uh if Avent gave him more of a rest, his college eligibility would've been up, so wtf are yall playin at. Seriously, what kind of sport gives players a full 4 days off and that's considered rushing him back. This isn't even a contact sport, and based on this fool:
you don't even need to be in any sort of physical shape to throw the ball. THEY DON'T EVEN BAT OR RUN OR ANYTHING. This man is Justin Louis Chamberlain, but they call him Joba cuz the fatass ate all of the other letters in his first and middle name.
Cricket gets a LOT of flak for being all gentlemanly and not as violent/intense as other sports, but uh, we also have people who bowl a lot, and unlike every single other sport, we have a game type ("Test" match) that lasts a WEEK. So yeah our "pitchers" go five consecutive days (and bat, too! And field! It's almost as if being a team member requires actually being a team player and contributing in every aspect of the game! INCONCEIVABLE!)
But at the same time, the fact that a guy who held UNC to 1 run in 10 innings in Durham and 1 in 9 in Omaha suddenly just derps around and gives up a lot means that clearly something happened. Whether they were all still feeling sorry for themselves about the UCLA debacle, or UNC was pumped after beating runaway title-favorites Loooozeeanna Staet, clearly something was wrong. And if that's the case, why is the season 70 games long. Play once a week, so you always have your best players out there and stop bullshitting excuses. It will also cut down on team size, so team scholarships go down, so the budgetary needs will go down so I don't have to subsidize your "education." The SEC is more or less an academic joke, but at least their "student"-athletes win! Since 2006: 3 NCAA Men's BBall titles, 7 NCAA BCS Football titles, 6 NCAA Men's Baseball finalists (of which 3 became champions).
Oy Vey.
Maybe Detroit (lmao bankruptcy) could completely renovate the city by digging up the entire foundation looking for Jimmy Hoffa. I have no idea why people are looking for the Teamster...I mean, he's dead. And if he isn't, he's 100, and he's probably dead. Seriously, who gives a shit what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. The FBI has wasted 3 million bucks following leads about that mafioso moron.
#HailState
So I read that "Elliot Avent receives flak for pushing Rodon into starting." UHHHH WAT. Ese pitched on SUNDAY. We played THURSDAY. Over to Rebecca Black for more:
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday (1)
Tuesday (2)
Wednesday (3)
Thursday (4)
Uh if Avent gave him more of a rest, his college eligibility would've been up, so wtf are yall playin at. Seriously, what kind of sport gives players a full 4 days off and that's considered rushing him back. This isn't even a contact sport, and based on this fool:
you don't even need to be in any sort of physical shape to throw the ball. THEY DON'T EVEN BAT OR RUN OR ANYTHING. This man is Justin Louis Chamberlain, but they call him Joba cuz the fatass ate all of the other letters in his first and middle name.
Cricket gets a LOT of flak for being all gentlemanly and not as violent/intense as other sports, but uh, we also have people who bowl a lot, and unlike every single other sport, we have a game type ("Test" match) that lasts a WEEK. So yeah our "pitchers" go five consecutive days (and bat, too! And field! It's almost as if being a team member requires actually being a team player and contributing in every aspect of the game! INCONCEIVABLE!)
But at the same time, the fact that a guy who held UNC to 1 run in 10 innings in Durham and 1 in 9 in Omaha suddenly just derps around and gives up a lot means that clearly something happened. Whether they were all still feeling sorry for themselves about the UCLA debacle, or UNC was pumped after beating runaway title-favorites Loooozeeanna Staet, clearly something was wrong. And if that's the case, why is the season 70 games long. Play once a week, so you always have your best players out there and stop bullshitting excuses. It will also cut down on team size, so team scholarships go down, so the budgetary needs will go down so I don't have to subsidize your "education." The SEC is more or less an academic joke, but at least their "student"-athletes win! Since 2006: 3 NCAA Men's BBall titles, 7 NCAA BCS Football titles, 6 NCAA Men's Baseball finalists (of which 3 became champions).
Oy Vey.
Maybe Detroit (lmao bankruptcy) could completely renovate the city by digging up the entire foundation looking for Jimmy Hoffa. I have no idea why people are looking for the Teamster...I mean, he's dead. And if he isn't, he's 100, and he's probably dead. Seriously, who gives a shit what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. The FBI has wasted 3 million bucks following leads about that mafioso moron.
#HailState
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
And a DNA test shows...
YOU ARE NOT THE TB-HAVER!
'preesh the heads up Dr. Povich. I think that I committed some sort of medical perjury though, because my Doc injected me with something that looked awfully like saline, and immediately concluded that I don't have TB (since I clearly don't, but UTK requires me to have a test thanks to India and somehow Japan). I think these tests usually take 2-3 days, and she pronounced me clean of TB like 2 minutes later, after going to get some water.
I'm not concerned, since I don't have TB, but that whole incident was...weird. Very weird. We also bonded over how expensive it is to get superdrunk these days, which was also weird. She seemed mid20s, so it wasn't too weird, but it was still an unexpected conversation to have.
She also gave me a free meningitis shot, and recommended I get an HPV vaccination as well (apparently I'm already good on all half-dozen types of Hepatitis. Yaaaay, third world!) I'm no doctor, but I thought HPV was like a womeny thing. But if it's free, fuck it, why not? It'd be like taking the morning-after pill...am I gonna get pregnant? No, but fuck it let's just play it safe.
And a final word, from my good friend Rat:
'preesh the heads up Dr. Povich. I think that I committed some sort of medical perjury though, because my Doc injected me with something that looked awfully like saline, and immediately concluded that I don't have TB (since I clearly don't, but UTK requires me to have a test thanks to India and somehow Japan). I think these tests usually take 2-3 days, and she pronounced me clean of TB like 2 minutes later, after going to get some water.
I'm not concerned, since I don't have TB, but that whole incident was...weird. Very weird. We also bonded over how expensive it is to get superdrunk these days, which was also weird. She seemed mid20s, so it wasn't too weird, but it was still an unexpected conversation to have.
She also gave me a free meningitis shot, and recommended I get an HPV vaccination as well (apparently I'm already good on all half-dozen types of Hepatitis. Yaaaay, third world!) I'm no doctor, but I thought HPV was like a womeny thing. But if it's free, fuck it, why not? It'd be like taking the morning-after pill...am I gonna get pregnant? No, but fuck it let's just play it safe.
And a final word, from my good friend Rat:
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
TB or not TB, that is the question...apparently
So for UTK, I have to fill out some medical paperwork showing all of the vaccinations and medicines that I've taken over the years. Nothing unusual about it, I think I had to do the same for Cal and NCSU, so whatevs nbd.
So I've lived in Tokyo, and visited India a few times (omg unexpected/10). Now, UTK had a list of countries with significant TB rates (>20 per 100000 peeps, from the WHO/UN), and surprise! India was on that list. But interestingly enough, so was Japan. Def didn't see that coming, but seeing as India is on that list, I'm pretty sure it doesnt matter that I lived in Japan. So I had to fill out some other forms, and UTK is losing their shit that I've been to the #ThirdWorld and all of the medical concerns that raises.
That's some top notch detective work, Tennessee. CLEARLY I have tuberculosis, malaria, ebola and the hivvy. Haven't been out of the country in 9 years, so I must have some super-dormant strains just waiting to infect erebody in Knoxville. Clearly I'm a significant health risk, and more tests to confirm I'm not dying from any of the diseases I don't have is necessary.
My father's expert analysis on the situation: "TB is a joke, and besides, let's just lie. They won't know"
You're damn right, vader. Obviously Africa just doesn't get the punchline.
Oh and yesterday was fun...I was at the AT&T store tryna get some internets set up for the new 'shwinpad, and they were being total douches about all these extra fees. But luckily ol' Vader came with, and as some of you know, he worked for Alcatel-Lucent, and specifically on all the networking infrastructure (blah blah blah hell if i know just some hardcore EE shit) with the AT&T U-verse project. So while they're trying to bullshit their way into 200 bucks worth of "activation" and "setup" fees, Pops just splits a fuse and yells at them for 20 minutes about how UVerse really works and how it doesn't take 200 bucks to plug shit into a wall and flip a switch. So the AT&T salesclowns meekly agreed to wave all fees.
#NeverGetIntoABattleOfWitsWithAnIndianWhenMoneyIsOnTheLine
So I've lived in Tokyo, and visited India a few times (omg unexpected/10). Now, UTK had a list of countries with significant TB rates (>20 per 100000 peeps, from the WHO/UN), and surprise! India was on that list. But interestingly enough, so was Japan. Def didn't see that coming, but seeing as India is on that list, I'm pretty sure it doesnt matter that I lived in Japan. So I had to fill out some other forms, and UTK is losing their shit that I've been to the #ThirdWorld and all of the medical concerns that raises.
That's some top notch detective work, Tennessee. CLEARLY I have tuberculosis, malaria, ebola and the hivvy. Haven't been out of the country in 9 years, so I must have some super-dormant strains just waiting to infect erebody in Knoxville. Clearly I'm a significant health risk, and more tests to confirm I'm not dying from any of the diseases I don't have is necessary.
My father's expert analysis on the situation: "TB is a joke, and besides, let's just lie. They won't know"
You're damn right, vader. Obviously Africa just doesn't get the punchline.
Oh and yesterday was fun...I was at the AT&T store tryna get some internets set up for the new 'shwinpad, and they were being total douches about all these extra fees. But luckily ol' Vader came with, and as some of you know, he worked for Alcatel-Lucent, and specifically on all the networking infrastructure (blah blah blah hell if i know just some hardcore EE shit) with the AT&T U-verse project. So while they're trying to bullshit their way into 200 bucks worth of "activation" and "setup" fees, Pops just splits a fuse and yells at them for 20 minutes about how UVerse really works and how it doesn't take 200 bucks to plug shit into a wall and flip a switch. So the AT&T salesclowns meekly agreed to wave all fees.
#NeverGetIntoABattleOfWitsWithAnIndianWhenMoneyIsOnTheLine
Monday, June 17, 2013
I'M RICH, BIATCH
OMG NEW BUSINESS PLAN.
Buy up ALL the 99 cent 'Zona teas.
Go to China.
Sell them. They should only cost 6 bucks (with the dollar to rmb conversion), but they are currently 14.
BANG BANG 'ROLDY.
Buy up ALL the 99 cent 'Zona teas.
Go to China.
Sell them. They should only cost 6 bucks (with the dollar to rmb conversion), but they are currently 14.
BANG BANG 'ROLDY.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Happy Father's Day, I think
Dear Dad,
Happy Father's Day. This probably means nothing to you since when I asked you about it you thought today was "Flag Day, or some other nutty holiday Americans use to not do work" (although if I remember correctly Flag Day was like Friday or something, so you got the month right). But if it weren't for you, I'd probably be nicer, quieter, happier, friendlier, have less trust issues, be less penny-wise, have healthier interactions with other people, and be less mean. So from the bottom of whatever vapid organ keeps me alive at this moment, thank you. I can't imagine being nice like John or Bassil, it sounds painful and hard. So thanks for that. Thank you for your biases, as well. I hate Bank of America, Phil Mickelson, Alan Greenspan and Shell for unexplainable reasons. I literally have no idea why. It bothered me for a while, then I realized that my lifeforce is powered by negativity and a sarcasm-based photosynthetic-esque process, so it's also been a win on that front.
We have a relationship that Zeus would be proud of: I am Sissyphus, and you are the rock that is always crushing every part of me. If it turns out that Sissyphus isn't the bruh doomed to roll that rock up the hill, then fuck this and fuck you too. Thanks to massive amounts of miscommunication, I am a Chemical Engineer, something neither of us wanted, and clearly I'm going to be using this degree so very well. You're also supermad at me for some other guy crashing into me. It wasn't my fault, nothing happened to the insurance, and the other dude apologized profusely and accepted all blame (and paid for damages), and somehow it's my fault. This is like blaming Obama for Pearl Harbor. Flawed analogy? Sure. But give Fox some time and I'm sure they'll find some connection.
THIS JUST IN.
OBAMA? "FROM" HAWAII.
PEARL HARBOR? IN HAWAII.
BOMBING OF PEARL HARBOR? COMMENCED US OPERATIONS IN WW2
2008 WHEN OBAMA WAS ELECTED? WE WERE AT WAR WITH IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN
WHO BOMBED PEARL HARBOR? JAPAN (BUT THE TITLE "TORA TORA TORA" SOMEHOW IMPLIES A JEWISH CONNECTION. I'M NOT BLAMING MOSSAD, BUT...)
WHERE ARE IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN? ASIA
JAPAN? ALSO IN ASIA!
COINCIDENCE OR NOT? WE REPORT, YOU DECIDE
Don't remember my original point...but yeah thanks Dad. Because of you, I am who I am today, and it honestly could have turned out worse.
But instead I'm going to get a series of degrees in Nuclear Engineering, then when WW3 starts I'm defecting to India.
#ComeAtMeNSA
#ReadMyBlogNSA
(But seriously NSA that's a joke. I'm not one of the moronic individuals freaking out about this Snowden shit, because a) WOAH BIG SURPRISE! and b) no one complaining is interesting enough to spy on c) I hate the ACLU and NAACP, they get in the way of REAL PROGRESS ffs, but just in case you catch some buzzwords, you can never be too sure)
ARSHAWIN OUT.
Oh, and shuck it UNC. Shuck it long, shuck it hahrd.
Happy Father's Day. This probably means nothing to you since when I asked you about it you thought today was "Flag Day, or some other nutty holiday Americans use to not do work" (although if I remember correctly Flag Day was like Friday or something, so you got the month right). But if it weren't for you, I'd probably be nicer, quieter, happier, friendlier, have less trust issues, be less penny-wise, have healthier interactions with other people, and be less mean. So from the bottom of whatever vapid organ keeps me alive at this moment, thank you. I can't imagine being nice like John or Bassil, it sounds painful and hard. So thanks for that. Thank you for your biases, as well. I hate Bank of America, Phil Mickelson, Alan Greenspan and Shell for unexplainable reasons. I literally have no idea why. It bothered me for a while, then I realized that my lifeforce is powered by negativity and a sarcasm-based photosynthetic-esque process, so it's also been a win on that front.
We have a relationship that Zeus would be proud of: I am Sissyphus, and you are the rock that is always crushing every part of me. If it turns out that Sissyphus isn't the bruh doomed to roll that rock up the hill, then fuck this and fuck you too. Thanks to massive amounts of miscommunication, I am a Chemical Engineer, something neither of us wanted, and clearly I'm going to be using this degree so very well. You're also supermad at me for some other guy crashing into me. It wasn't my fault, nothing happened to the insurance, and the other dude apologized profusely and accepted all blame (and paid for damages), and somehow it's my fault. This is like blaming Obama for Pearl Harbor. Flawed analogy? Sure. But give Fox some time and I'm sure they'll find some connection.
THIS JUST IN.
OBAMA? "FROM" HAWAII.
PEARL HARBOR? IN HAWAII.
BOMBING OF PEARL HARBOR? COMMENCED US OPERATIONS IN WW2
2008 WHEN OBAMA WAS ELECTED? WE WERE AT WAR WITH IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN
WHO BOMBED PEARL HARBOR? JAPAN (BUT THE TITLE "TORA TORA TORA" SOMEHOW IMPLIES A JEWISH CONNECTION. I'M NOT BLAMING MOSSAD, BUT...)
WHERE ARE IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN? ASIA
JAPAN? ALSO IN ASIA!
COINCIDENCE OR NOT? WE REPORT, YOU DECIDE
Don't remember my original point...but yeah thanks Dad. Because of you, I am who I am today, and it honestly could have turned out worse.
But instead I'm going to get a series of degrees in Nuclear Engineering, then when WW3 starts I'm defecting to India.
#ComeAtMeNSA
#ReadMyBlogNSA
(But seriously NSA that's a joke. I'm not one of the moronic individuals freaking out about this Snowden shit, because a) WOAH BIG SURPRISE! and b) no one complaining is interesting enough to spy on c) I hate the ACLU and NAACP, they get in the way of REAL PROGRESS ffs, but just in case you catch some buzzwords, you can never be too sure)
ARSHAWIN OUT.
Oh, and shuck it UNC. Shuck it long, shuck it hahrd.
The new mascot for Down's Syndrome...
It's a gloster canary...AND IT HAS A BOWLCUT. A GOSH-DARN-IT-ALL BOWLCUT.
Serious face time. Imagine the kid...building a birdhouse...oh god I'm sorry I can't. Oh dear lord #HellHereICome
Anyhoo, so yesterday I was at Best Buy looking at all the things I couldn't afford unless I started selling organs or blood diamonds or people, and this black BB employee comes up to me, and we chat about shit for a while, and then he goes off. And for the next 30 minutes, while I'm just cruisin around I hear this man, this glorious, glorious Hulk of a black man, singing...
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, it's a beeeeaaaauuuutiful day in the neeeeeeighborhood" etc. etc.
Is...Is...IS THIS NIGGA SINGING THE MR. ROGERS' THEME SONG?
I think so? This needs further investigation. So I sneakily follow him around the store, and lo and behold I hear the greatest thing I've ever heard a black man say:
"Would you be my neighbor? Could you be my neighbor?"
At this point I'm crying from laughter. But it gets better, as he goes up to a customer and loudly says:
"HOWDY NEIGHBOR!"
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Bible Quote Of The (Every Few) Days
Today's passage comes from 1 Timoty 3:8-13.
Two days ago I realized that an individual line is not quite as useful (aka hard to figure out) compared to an entire section, so I'm gonna start doing that. Also this is really hard to understand, and I have a lot of other menial tasks going on, so my super special deluxe analyses will probably come every now and then.
So this is about the peeps that lead the Church, I think. They gotta be good people that command the respect of others, and actually follow through on what they say. The irony here is quite apparent when you think about modern day church elder peoples touching little boys. I think there are other ways to command the respect of your constituents than through sexual dominance coughSANDUSKYcough. It also seems that they can't drink plenty, which is also funny considering every sermon involves wine. Hah yeah okay. You tell me that the wine is the blood de Christ, and then expect to maintain a certain level of sobriety. Cannibalism aside, that seems like a flawed system. "Hey Jim-Bob, this shit right here, this shit right here, this shit right here is THE BLOOD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR."
Actually, now that I think about it, if someone told me red wine (or white wine if you're doing the whole blood-plasma thing, I guess) was the blood of someone, I probs wouldn't touch that with a 39 and a half foot long pole. Okay so maybe the not drinking part is easy.
But then again, how does a grown man decide to touch little boys on his own? That's not a stab at Michael, that's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho I go a little bit crazy sometimes. #ChikaChikaSlimShady
Anyhoo, so yeah. So homeboys can't also do things for money HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHA
AHHHH
YEAHHHH
a) Christianity founded by a Jew.
b) Indulgences. What else needs to be said, Mr. Tetzel?
c) Tithing. Yup yup.
These speshul peepel need to follow what Jesus said, cuz he made it clear how to live ya life, HEYYY EYYY EYY just live your life! woah! eyyyy eyyyy eyyy. Apparently he co-produced Paper Trail, which is fine by me. No idea what "clean heart" means but it probably has to do with the fact that JC had low cholesterol or something. And basically once you find these peeps, you gotta run em through some drills to make sure they're okay. You gotta send em on a scavenger hunt where money is buried in the ground, and the people who "win" break the part about the no money. And then you use all that money to go barhopping, and all those people who make it to the end are also out, because clearly they can handle their liquor. And then you take the passed out poor "winners" to a preschool for naptime, and those that don't freak out when they wake up are also kicked out for pedophilia. Those that are left are the champions of the Vatican Olympics.
Now I think 'wahines' refers to womenfolk, but I don't know if this is all XX-havers, or just those married to the people running the church. The latter is interesting, for I thought that church elders couldn't be married. Maybe thats just el popo. Either way they gotta be good people who aren't hated, and don't talk trash and stuff (yeah good luck with that, Timmyboy) with selfcontrol (hmmmm...) and they gots to be trustworthy.
And these men can only have one wife, so it really makes you wonder what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were up to when they read this part of the Bible...they were probably like "hmmm nah let's just white out this part." So the next time you Mormon-converting asswipes come to my door, if you can explain Timoty 3:12 to me, I'll fucking convert on the spot. Elderify me, Scotty! And they gotta be good fathers and husbands. Good thing the Bible says this.
Two days ago I realized that an individual line is not quite as useful (aka hard to figure out) compared to an entire section, so I'm gonna start doing that. Also this is really hard to understand, and I have a lot of other menial tasks going on, so my super special deluxe analyses will probably come every now and then.
Da Main Helpa Guys Fo Da Church
8 Da main helpa guys fo da church, same ting. Dey gotta be solid kine peopo, so dat da odda peopo get respeck fo dem, an dey gotta mean wat dey say. Dey no drink plenny. Dey no do shame kine stuff fo get plenny money ony fo demself. 9 Dey know da kine stuff bout Jesus dat befo time was secret, an dey trus um, jalike us, an stick wit um, an do um wit clean heart. 10 You gotta check um out real good first, so you can know fo shua dey no do notting wrong. If dey do da right ting, den dey can come da main helpa guys fo da church.
11 Da wahines, same ting. Dey gotta be solid kine peopo, so dat da odda peopo get respeck fo dem. Dey no can talk stink bout da odda peopo. Dey no drink plenny cuz dey gotta stay in charge a demself. Everybody know dey goin do wat dey suppose to.
12 Da main helpa guys ony can have one wife. Dey gotta handle dea kids an dea own ohana da right way. 13 Da guys dat awready stay da main helpa guys, an do um good, everybody tink good bout um. Dey no scared fo talk bout Jesus, da Spesho Guy God Wen Send, cuz dey trus him, an dey know wat dey talking bout.
So this is about the peeps that lead the Church, I think. They gotta be good people that command the respect of others, and actually follow through on what they say. The irony here is quite apparent when you think about modern day church elder peoples touching little boys. I think there are other ways to command the respect of your constituents than through sexual dominance coughSANDUSKYcough. It also seems that they can't drink plenty, which is also funny considering every sermon involves wine. Hah yeah okay. You tell me that the wine is the blood de Christ, and then expect to maintain a certain level of sobriety. Cannibalism aside, that seems like a flawed system. "Hey Jim-Bob, this shit right here, this shit right here, this shit right here is THE BLOOD OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR."
Actually, now that I think about it, if someone told me red wine (or white wine if you're doing the whole blood-plasma thing, I guess) was the blood of someone, I probs wouldn't touch that with a 39 and a half foot long pole. Okay so maybe the not drinking part is easy.
But then again, how does a grown man decide to touch little boys on his own? That's not a stab at Michael, that's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho I go a little bit crazy sometimes. #ChikaChikaSlimShady
Anyhoo, so yeah. So homeboys can't also do things for money HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHA
AHHHH
YEAHHHH
a) Christianity founded by a Jew.
b) Indulgences. What else needs to be said, Mr. Tetzel?
c) Tithing. Yup yup.
These speshul peepel need to follow what Jesus said, cuz he made it clear how to live ya life, HEYYY EYYY EYY just live your life! woah! eyyyy eyyyy eyyy. Apparently he co-produced Paper Trail, which is fine by me. No idea what "clean heart" means but it probably has to do with the fact that JC had low cholesterol or something. And basically once you find these peeps, you gotta run em through some drills to make sure they're okay. You gotta send em on a scavenger hunt where money is buried in the ground, and the people who "win" break the part about the no money. And then you use all that money to go barhopping, and all those people who make it to the end are also out, because clearly they can handle their liquor. And then you take the passed out poor "winners" to a preschool for naptime, and those that don't freak out when they wake up are also kicked out for pedophilia. Those that are left are the champions of the Vatican Olympics.
Now I think 'wahines' refers to womenfolk, but I don't know if this is all XX-havers, or just those married to the people running the church. The latter is interesting, for I thought that church elders couldn't be married. Maybe thats just el popo. Either way they gotta be good people who aren't hated, and don't talk trash and stuff (yeah good luck with that, Timmyboy) with selfcontrol (hmmmm...) and they gots to be trustworthy.
And these men can only have one wife, so it really makes you wonder what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young were up to when they read this part of the Bible...they were probably like "hmmm nah let's just white out this part." So the next time you Mormon-converting asswipes come to my door, if you can explain Timoty 3:12 to me, I'll fucking convert on the spot. Elderify me, Scotty! And they gotta be good fathers and husbands. Good thing the Bible says this.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Bible Verse Of The Day
Gonna start a bit earlier, even though Da Jesus Book isn't here yet, but thanks to the internet we can start a bit earlier. And people who do read el Bible-o, if you get mad at me just call me and we can argue about religion. That will only end well for you. I've read enough rightwing websites to see that a primary argument for Christianity vs. Islam/Judaism is "it came first." But Glenn Beck, don't let me spoil history for you by reminding you of a little land called...Indiana? No, wait...no, India. Yeah, that's it. You know, the one that eats pop-maize instead of popcorn and throws spears and got sent to Oklahoma...ugh, no, wrong again. OH I GOT IT, the one that was alive and kicking for millenia. Got it.
Today's verse comes from Fo Da Hebrew Peopo Chapter 8 Verse 6:
But da priest kine stuff dat Jesus stay doing fo God, dat stuff plenny mo betta den da stuff da odda priest guys stay do. An jalike dat, same ting, Jesus da middle man fo da deal dass plenny mo betta den da first deal. An dat new deal plenny mo betta, cuz God wen make mo betta promises wen he make dat new deal.
Yo so basically Jesus was like MY NIGGAS lemme do this one thing for yall, and he took El Al flight 666 down to Bethlehem around year 1 BC, and 9 months later babang homeboy was born. And he came and said, "hey dipshits, God is SO PISSED right now, that I'm your main method to communicate with the Big Guy" and basically Jesus had the first communications monopoly. And only by pleasing Christ (or something) can you get into heaven...by appeasing to JC, you can enter the pearly gates. But how to do this, you may be wondering? WELL GOOD NEWS! You're not at the whim of some rando, God gave you his "word" which is basically a list of shit you should do to better your chances. Basically, God gave some rules to give you more lotto tickets, but JC is still the dude picking the pingpong balls, so he's still a crucial piece of this puzzle. But God is slightly biased towards Israel (its from Fo Da Hebrew Peopo, what did you expect? A justification for the Final Solution? #OyVey), so the Ark of the Covenant was probably created in Tel Aviv or something. Either that, or Mossad stole it. Like they do everything. Seriously Israel the only difference between you and China is that the US owes China money instead of giving it out. You both shamelessly steal from the U.S., have deepcover spies, and whenever someone is like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS TREASONOUS ARSE DOING" you ball up and cry about the Holocaust some more. A BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE DIED TO, YOU ARROGANT ASSHOLES. THAT CARD EXPIRED LIKE 40 YEARS AGO, FIND A NEW THING. Holocaust? Over it. Even HIPSTERS have moved on. But yeah, the gospel gives all the knowledge, and JC is here to help make it mean something.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Once two strangers climbed ol' Rocky Top...
38 hour Knoxville round trip, noteworthy events I remember:
Chapter 1: My Very Next Boy...
Woke up at 5 am, left at 6. Google says it takes 6 hours to get there. Hotel check-in at 3 pm. In theory, you leave such that you arrive around hotel check-in time (aka get more sleep before you leave...) but whatever.
Left at 6, next 4 hours went as follows: drive drive drive some factory plant appears on the side of the road "HEY CHEMICAL ENGINEER TELL ME ABOUT THIS" *slaps me on the back* drive drive drive
Got to Asheville, mountains begin. drive drive drive *mountainous curves* *FLIPS SHIT ABOUT MOUNTAINS AND ROCKS FALLING AND DYING* drive drive *MORE SHIT-FLIPPING* drive drive drive
But we made it to Knoxville at around 12:30, two and a half hours before check-in. Brilliant.
Chapter 2: I'mma name it Peyton...
So whatever, we're there 3 hours early. NBD went to lunch. Now you may be thinking, new town, should probs go check out some local place of interest or something.
NOPE WE WENT TO AN #INDIAN RESTAURANT. #YOLO
Then we drove around some more, looking at things, my Dad complaining about the Kingston Pike (their version of Capital with a less shady vibe), and we discovered something awesome.
Something truly, truly awesome.
Gas at the Exxon by my house: tree fiddy (nine)
Gas at the Exxon by el hotel-o: tree nineteen
I am genetically superior to you all at math, so let me do it for you: HOMESLICE THAT IS 40 QUALITY CENTS PER GALLON. YOU FILL A TANK UP WITH 15 GALLONS YOUSE LOOKIN AT SIX (that's six in french, you uncultured swine) DOLLAROOS (that's dollars in australian, you boorish pigs).
Then we drove around from complex to complex. Now that I think about it, this trip wasn't terribly exciting, because we were just working the whole time. Only other highlight of interest is that I bought LB a ballin UTK mug, turns out I need to sign some forms with DHS, and I found an apartment near I-40 in a good 'hood for a badass price.
BOY, GIRL, GOTTA NAME IT PEYTON.
Chapter 1: My Very Next Boy...
Woke up at 5 am, left at 6. Google says it takes 6 hours to get there. Hotel check-in at 3 pm. In theory, you leave such that you arrive around hotel check-in time (aka get more sleep before you leave...) but whatever.
Left at 6, next 4 hours went as follows: drive drive drive some factory plant appears on the side of the road "HEY CHEMICAL ENGINEER TELL ME ABOUT THIS" *slaps me on the back* drive drive drive
Got to Asheville, mountains begin. drive drive drive *mountainous curves* *FLIPS SHIT ABOUT MOUNTAINS AND ROCKS FALLING AND DYING* drive drive *MORE SHIT-FLIPPING* drive drive drive
But we made it to Knoxville at around 12:30, two and a half hours before check-in. Brilliant.
Chapter 2: I'mma name it Peyton...
So whatever, we're there 3 hours early. NBD went to lunch. Now you may be thinking, new town, should probs go check out some local place of interest or something.
NOPE WE WENT TO AN #INDIAN RESTAURANT. #YOLO
Then we drove around some more, looking at things, my Dad complaining about the Kingston Pike (their version of Capital with a less shady vibe), and we discovered something awesome.
Something truly, truly awesome.
Gas at the Exxon by my house: tree fiddy (nine)
Gas at the Exxon by el hotel-o: tree nineteen
I am genetically superior to you all at math, so let me do it for you: HOMESLICE THAT IS 40 QUALITY CENTS PER GALLON. YOU FILL A TANK UP WITH 15 GALLONS YOUSE LOOKIN AT SIX (that's six in french, you uncultured swine) DOLLAROOS (that's dollars in australian, you boorish pigs).
Then we drove around from complex to complex. Now that I think about it, this trip wasn't terribly exciting, because we were just working the whole time. Only other highlight of interest is that I bought LB a ballin UTK mug, turns out I need to sign some forms with DHS, and I found an apartment near I-40 in a good 'hood for a badass price.
BOY, GIRL, GOTTA NAME IT PEYTON.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA BRO DO U EVEN WATER
"C" IS FOR "CAN'T FUCKING USE A BOTTLE"
"C" IS FOR "CHAMPION OF DRINKING"
and as always
"C IS FOR COOKIE AND ITS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME"
Good lord, he looks so thrilled and excited..."HAY GUISE LUUK @ ME! THE WATUHR MAEKS MY TUMMIE SO HAPPIE!"
EDIT:
OH GOD THERES A GIF:
He looks so confused at the end...oh god that's adorable. Whitey, I didn't know you played in the NHL!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
John, you have an ally in your weird, weird struggle...
So yeah, apparently someone agrees with you. I don't understand why, because that's by far the best part of the cereal process.
Also, I was just sitting on a couch this morning, when mein vader popped in and sad "You should learn to be happy" and I was just stunned that darth over here gave me relevant and good advice.
I'm not going to take it, because that might make be a better person (and that sounds hard and painful and might lead to more and better friendships and thus a more fulfilling life and yeah fuck that. Misery loves company, and besides, I can use circular logic to show that my metaphorical valence band/HOMO/whatever science-y metaphor you choose is one of anger. I'm starting to think a) it's genetic and b) I don't know how to use parenthesis).
Happy D-Day everyone! Just remember, if it wasn't for today like 69 (teeheehee) years ago, we'd all be under the Nazi flag, and I'd have a claim at reigning over all of you.
:|
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Honestly, that was weird.
So, as a proxy for Brett to "converse" with Sam, I got to witness...something. It was by far one of the strangest conversations I've ever been privy to. Here's basically what was said (word for word as much as possible, and you can confirm that because I know how to spell. I'm Indian (surprise! (omg parentheception)), and I think we've established we're good at spelling):
B: "you don't miss me you miss my dick"
S: "he has one?"
B: "its black no wonder you missed it"
S: "All i know about brett and dicks is that he enjoys drawing them"
B: "can't believe you didn't say anything about fingerpainting"
S: "well i try to be a bit more understanding of his "degree" than alex"
B: "can't believe you're firing about useless degrees"
S: "i have a job lined up, my degree is far from useless, and i guess he has to distract himself from this embaressment by his team somehow"
B: "i like it when you talk dirty"
S: "i like to give a hopeless artist decent material to work with"
B: "I hope your kids are ugly, if your genes are any indicator"
S: "and that is why I excelled at human bio and you finger paint distorted people I can tel Alex and I will have great looking kids"
B: "no, alex and I would have better looking kids, and you thuckth more than andy, and he sucks a lot right now"
S: "Dont understand that last bit, but I dont think brett has seen a mirror lately if he has any hope for his offspring but while he goes off to bed alone with his fingerpainting and shity team, alex and I are going to bed"
B: "It must be nice to have an early bedtime I hope I can wake up tomorrow and do alex's laundry!"
S: "I would take the useless housewife jab as an insult, but then I remember Brett hasnt seen my engagment ring and that as I said before, come fall I have a real job lined up"
B: "pawning your engagement ring isn't a job
S: "A pawn shop couldnt afford my ring and neither are drawing artsy homeless men signs a real job"
B: "I'm secretly jealous of you and wish you were marrying me"
S: "Then you should have been a hockey playing canadian engineer....but alas like every other girl you have tried to have a conversation with I am bored and going to bed :) sweet dreams"
B: "You're right narcoleptics aren't really my thing"
I tried to stay neutral, because I have a Ph. D in "digging your own grave" and an M.D. with a specialization in foot-from-mouth removal, but dear lord, when Brett said "pawning your engagement ring isn't a job" I lost my mind. That shit was too hilarious.
God as my witness, I'm going to miss Brett the most. Sorry guys, for what its worth, you're all mostly tied for second. Jayden, you came in 7th billion place, but a hearty congratulations for 4 years of McDonald's! And thanks to Stephen, we can confirm that it was 4 years of working at McD's, not (as Brett thought), eating there continuously for 4 years.
But on the plus side, I did have a beastly game on the boards when we ran some 5s earlier that evening. And I also realized that if I weren't Indian, I would start most conversations with brown peeps by saying "Hey Mowgli, where's Baloo?"
Oh, and if anyone says that to me, I'll shove Jungle Book up your ass. And then mercilessly insult Canada, because dear lord the Queen still technically rules your "country" and your NHL franchises blow. There has to be a reason Colorado won the cup the year after they left Canada.
B: "you don't miss me you miss my dick"
S: "he has one?"
B: "its black no wonder you missed it"
S: "All i know about brett and dicks is that he enjoys drawing them"
B: "can't believe you didn't say anything about fingerpainting"
S: "well i try to be a bit more understanding of his "degree" than alex"
B: "can't believe you're firing about useless degrees"
S: "i have a job lined up, my degree is far from useless, and i guess he has to distract himself from this embaressment by his team somehow"
B: "i like it when you talk dirty"
S: "i like to give a hopeless artist decent material to work with"
B: "I hope your kids are ugly, if your genes are any indicator"
S: "and that is why I excelled at human bio and you finger paint distorted people I can tel Alex and I will have great looking kids"
B: "no, alex and I would have better looking kids, and you thuckth more than andy, and he sucks a lot right now"
S: "Dont understand that last bit, but I dont think brett has seen a mirror lately if he has any hope for his offspring but while he goes off to bed alone with his fingerpainting and shity team, alex and I are going to bed"
B: "It must be nice to have an early bedtime I hope I can wake up tomorrow and do alex's laundry!"
S: "I would take the useless housewife jab as an insult, but then I remember Brett hasnt seen my engagment ring and that as I said before, come fall I have a real job lined up"
B: "pawning your engagement ring isn't a job
S: "A pawn shop couldnt afford my ring and neither are drawing artsy homeless men signs a real job"
B: "I'm secretly jealous of you and wish you were marrying me"
S: "Then you should have been a hockey playing canadian engineer....but alas like every other girl you have tried to have a conversation with I am bored and going to bed :) sweet dreams"
B: "You're right narcoleptics aren't really my thing"
I tried to stay neutral, because I have a Ph. D in "digging your own grave" and an M.D. with a specialization in foot-from-mouth removal, but dear lord, when Brett said "pawning your engagement ring isn't a job" I lost my mind. That shit was too hilarious.
God as my witness, I'm going to miss Brett the most. Sorry guys, for what its worth, you're all mostly tied for second. Jayden, you came in 7th billion place, but a hearty congratulations for 4 years of McDonald's! And thanks to Stephen, we can confirm that it was 4 years of working at McD's, not (as Brett thought), eating there continuously for 4 years.
But on the plus side, I did have a beastly game on the boards when we ran some 5s earlier that evening. And I also realized that if I weren't Indian, I would start most conversations with brown peeps by saying "Hey Mowgli, where's Baloo?"
Oh, and if anyone says that to me, I'll shove Jungle Book up your ass. And then mercilessly insult Canada, because dear lord the Queen still technically rules your "country" and your NHL franchises blow. There has to be a reason Colorado won the cup the year after they left Canada.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Dammit GoT this was shaping up to be a good day
All I'm saying is, Robb Stark should name his child Boromir.
HOLY JESUS SO I WROTE THAT LIKE 40 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE
THEN HOLOCAUST 2.0 BROKE THE FUCK OUT.
WHAT THE SHIT.
Talk about #PlannedParenthood all up in that piece, daaaamn.
Maaaan, now I'm like super-depressed. I mean, I figured that George Martin's "intriguing" use of deus ex machina to kill every character meant peeps was gonna die, but I figured it would be on a more individual basis, not some macabre homage to the Amritsar Massacre. Oy Vey.
Although mad props to Momma Stark crying over her son's death and then slitting a throat "Son just died :( #nbd just slitting some throats with @walderfrey"
HOLY JESUS SO I WROTE THAT LIKE 40 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE
THEN HOLOCAUST 2.0 BROKE THE FUCK OUT.
WHAT THE SHIT.
Talk about #PlannedParenthood all up in that piece, daaaamn.
Maaaan, now I'm like super-depressed. I mean, I figured that George Martin's "intriguing" use of deus ex machina to kill every character meant peeps was gonna die, but I figured it would be on a more individual basis, not some macabre homage to the Amritsar Massacre. Oy Vey.
Although mad props to Momma Stark crying over her son's death and then slitting a throat "Son just died :( #nbd just slitting some throats with @walderfrey"
Thanks, I guess?
So I found the "stats" page for this blahg.
Assumed Lebanon/Jordan as Bassilly and Whitinho, but the traffic from China...Dear China, there is NOTHING worth reverse-engineering here, despite me being a ChE/[future] NE. I'm NOT posting state secrets up here. So don't waste your time.
Was intrigued by the broswer and OS data, that's always interesting to see.
Assumed Lebanon/Jordan as Bassilly and Whitinho, but the traffic from China...Dear China, there is NOTHING worth reverse-engineering here, despite me being a ChE/[future] NE. I'm NOT posting state secrets up here. So don't waste your time.
Was intrigued by the broswer and OS data, that's always interesting to see.
Monday, June 3, 2013
U GON LURN 2DAY
Well howdy-ho, folks.
Nothing new to report, other than I learned what guetapens means.
I called John that yesterday, and today I thought (pretty much the only thing I thought all day), "self, you don't know what that means" and self responded "we sure don't, but does it really matter?" And to that I said "self, this is how we learn things. We call people names, then we look up what those words mean" and self agreed, so we looked it up.
Definitely not an insult, because it definitely makes no sense as an insult. But then again, the best insults don't make sense.
Oh, yeah, I'm not telling you what it means. Go look it up yourself, you group of lazy clowncakes.
Nothing new to report, other than I learned what guetapens means.
I called John that yesterday, and today I thought (pretty much the only thing I thought all day), "self, you don't know what that means" and self responded "we sure don't, but does it really matter?" And to that I said "self, this is how we learn things. We call people names, then we look up what those words mean" and self agreed, so we looked it up.
Definitely not an insult, because it definitely makes no sense as an insult. But then again, the best insults don't make sense.
Oh, yeah, I'm not telling you what it means. Go look it up yourself, you group of lazy clowncakes.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
AWWRITE AWWRITE AWWWRIIIIITEEEEEE
I'm sorry, I just love that picture of Arshavin. I just look at it, and I'm like, "yup that looks about right." And then I think about stuff, and I look back, and I'm like "yup yup I feel you, my Russian amigo."
Then I think about classes I have to take to graduate, and I just start crying - but not real crying, cuz I'm a man and men don't cry. Except for during Hotel Rwanda, because that was ohmigod depressing as all hell. On the serious, Britain, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let you split up your empire? It was like they found a specialneeds kid, got him drunk, gave him a paper map and scissors and said "ello guvnah we gots some tea'n'croompets fer ya on the barbie so just do a real good joob and we'll see aboot those fish'n'chips from the ol' cockney shop down the way, but be sure to MIND THE GAP you tosspot!"
And then Ron Weasley came by, but not really Ron Weasley, cuz if it were really Ron Weasley he wouldn't have shown up at all. Because counting on Ron to do something useful is, generally speaking, a Hail-Mary gamble that you use when you're down two goals in the 90' and you have to pull your goalie. Let's be real, you see the 5th youngest redhead child in a family, and you know at that point his genes are coming from the recessive sides of the Punnett square. But yeah, apart from a chess game his first year, and mimicking (read: NOT ORIGINAL CONTENT) Harry's parseltongue at the end of the 7th book, he doesn't do much:
1 - he befriends a random orphan. Seriously, don't %^&$#%&^!@!%#$ talk to strangers, kids.
2 - his wand snaps, his car flies into the woods, his sister opens the chamber of secrets, he loses his wand to FREAKING gilderoy lockhart
3 - it comes to light that he's been harboring a known criminal for more than a decade, he breaks his leg which causes the fellas to lose track of peetah pettigruuuh and lose him...again, he torments hermione and that's just a crime against humanity
4 - turns his back on 'arry when 'arry needs 'im the most, verbally abuses hermione (theres a weird trend here) during the 'ule 'all, he takes an Indian to the aforementioned 'ule 'all and ditches her (nobody harms Indians on my watch, for I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Oh and he gets himself drowned in a lake, during the triwizard tourney. And is a jealous asswipe like the WHOLE TIME.
5 - gets attacked by brains. I didn't quite understand that part, and the movie didn't image-ify it for me, but just let that sink in. Homeboy got attacked by brains, which generally speaking, don't work if they're not "connected" to humans. More shit happens in this book, but I think the brain attack is enough for this one
6 - he eats a love potion, gets poisoned, nearly dies, falls in love with lavender in the worst romance since whatever unholy situation got voldy's parents together, pisses off Hermione (again...)...oyvey, ronnie, get your shit together
7 - throws the biggest hissyfit in the history of the world (even when hitler reneged on the molotov-ribbentrop pact stalin wasn't this pissed), ditches 'arry and 'ermy to go home while they roughed it on in freaking england, but once he comes back he finally helps for the first time in SEVEN YEARS.
I can think of a certain Indian who is far more useful, helpful and intelligent. Where is my Hermione, I want one.
Alrighty, so like a good programmer, I have to un-recurse through this mess to figure out what just happened.
Okay, so i brought up ron, because Rupert Grint seems pretty awesome, and I brought him up because he has an icecream truck where he gives kids icecream. Not even gonna mention how much of a recruiting advantage he would give Penn State - whoops just did. You can play at my HAPPY VALLEY, if you know what I mean.
But right, kids with free icecream. So I brought that up, because Mr. (or Mrs., this is the 21st century) SpeshulNeads just went to town splitting up the British Empire, and deserves a reward (as if ruining two entire continents for the rest of eternity wasn't enough of a prize). And we brought that up, because...
Oh, because Hotel Rwanda. Damn that's a depressing movie.
Bringing us full circle to the Arshavin pic. Always classy, always appropriate, always from the heart.
Then I think about classes I have to take to graduate, and I just start crying - but not real crying, cuz I'm a man and men don't cry. Except for during Hotel Rwanda, because that was ohmigod depressing as all hell. On the serious, Britain, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let you split up your empire? It was like they found a specialneeds kid, got him drunk, gave him a paper map and scissors and said "ello guvnah we gots some tea'n'croompets fer ya on the barbie so just do a real good joob and we'll see aboot those fish'n'chips from the ol' cockney shop down the way, but be sure to MIND THE GAP you tosspot!"
And then Ron Weasley came by, but not really Ron Weasley, cuz if it were really Ron Weasley he wouldn't have shown up at all. Because counting on Ron to do something useful is, generally speaking, a Hail-Mary gamble that you use when you're down two goals in the 90' and you have to pull your goalie. Let's be real, you see the 5th youngest redhead child in a family, and you know at that point his genes are coming from the recessive sides of the Punnett square. But yeah, apart from a chess game his first year, and mimicking (read: NOT ORIGINAL CONTENT) Harry's parseltongue at the end of the 7th book, he doesn't do much:
1 - he befriends a random orphan. Seriously, don't %^&$#%&^!@!%#$ talk to strangers, kids.
2 - his wand snaps, his car flies into the woods, his sister opens the chamber of secrets, he loses his wand to FREAKING gilderoy lockhart
3 - it comes to light that he's been harboring a known criminal for more than a decade, he breaks his leg which causes the fellas to lose track of peetah pettigruuuh and lose him...again, he torments hermione and that's just a crime against humanity
4 - turns his back on 'arry when 'arry needs 'im the most, verbally abuses hermione (theres a weird trend here) during the 'ule 'all, he takes an Indian to the aforementioned 'ule 'all and ditches her (nobody harms Indians on my watch, for I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Oh and he gets himself drowned in a lake, during the triwizard tourney. And is a jealous asswipe like the WHOLE TIME.
5 - gets attacked by brains. I didn't quite understand that part, and the movie didn't image-ify it for me, but just let that sink in. Homeboy got attacked by brains, which generally speaking, don't work if they're not "connected" to humans. More shit happens in this book, but I think the brain attack is enough for this one
6 - he eats a love potion, gets poisoned, nearly dies, falls in love with lavender in the worst romance since whatever unholy situation got voldy's parents together, pisses off Hermione (again...)...oyvey, ronnie, get your shit together
7 - throws the biggest hissyfit in the history of the world (even when hitler reneged on the molotov-ribbentrop pact stalin wasn't this pissed), ditches 'arry and 'ermy to go home while they roughed it on in freaking england, but once he comes back he finally helps for the first time in SEVEN YEARS.
I can think of a certain Indian who is far more useful, helpful and intelligent. Where is my Hermione, I want one.
Alrighty, so like a good programmer, I have to un-recurse through this mess to figure out what just happened.
Okay, so i brought up ron, because Rupert Grint seems pretty awesome, and I brought him up because he has an icecream truck where he gives kids icecream. Not even gonna mention how much of a recruiting advantage he would give Penn State - whoops just did. You can play at my HAPPY VALLEY, if you know what I mean.
But right, kids with free icecream. So I brought that up, because Mr. (or Mrs., this is the 21st century) SpeshulNeads just went to town splitting up the British Empire, and deserves a reward (as if ruining two entire continents for the rest of eternity wasn't enough of a prize). And we brought that up, because...
Oh, because Hotel Rwanda. Damn that's a depressing movie.
Bringing us full circle to the Arshavin pic. Always classy, always appropriate, always from the heart.
It's not you, it's me.
Dear John,
I think it's time we starting seeing other people. We've had a good relationship, we started off just friends for a year, but then we made it a serious commitment. These past 3 years have been wonderful and glorious and special to me, and I'll never forget them (or you...ifyaknowwhatimean), but this separation has become too tough for me, and I've moved on. You are out there overseas, (apparently) fighting for our freedoms back home, but it's too hard for me. I've found new people, better people (like Sam...totally like Sam! We're BFFs, as long as BFF stands for "people, who left alone in a room, will carve their own shiv and kill each other") and I just don't think waiting around for you is worth it.
I don't know what else to say, because although I'm the female spouse in this situation, I still have the verbal communication skills of an adult male. Don't ask why, analyzing this situation will only cause you grief and misery. I don't know what else goes into this letter. See, it's funny because its relevant, and your name is John. But you knew that, didnt'cha, Dr. BowlCut!
I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be.
I think it's time I step out of the cupboard, and do whatever that other Indian did.
Like peacefully live on his own land literally in the middle of nowhere, only for white people to give him smallpox.
Yikes this just took a left turn.
JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SINGLE-CELLED CROMAGNON TUB'O'LARD LOOKIN CANADIAN-BACON HUFFIN GUETAPENS!
Looooooooove,
Ashwin
I think it's time we starting seeing other people. We've had a good relationship, we started off just friends for a year, but then we made it a serious commitment. These past 3 years have been wonderful and glorious and special to me, and I'll never forget them (or you...ifyaknowwhatimean), but this separation has become too tough for me, and I've moved on. You are out there overseas, (apparently) fighting for our freedoms back home, but it's too hard for me. I've found new people, better people (like Sam...totally like Sam! We're BFFs, as long as BFF stands for "people, who left alone in a room, will carve their own shiv and kill each other") and I just don't think waiting around for you is worth it.
I don't know what else to say, because although I'm the female spouse in this situation, I still have the verbal communication skills of an adult male. Don't ask why, analyzing this situation will only cause you grief and misery. I don't know what else goes into this letter. See, it's funny because its relevant, and your name is John. But you knew that, didnt'cha, Dr. BowlCut!
I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be.
I think it's time I step out of the cupboard, and do whatever that other Indian did.
Like peacefully live on his own land literally in the middle of nowhere, only for white people to give him smallpox.
Yikes this just took a left turn.
JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SINGLE-CELLED CROMAGNON TUB'O'LARD LOOKIN CANADIAN-BACON HUFFIN GUETAPENS!
Looooooooove,
Ashwin
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