Dear John,
I think it's time we starting seeing other people. We've had a good relationship, we started off just friends for a year, but then we made it a serious commitment. These past 3 years have been wonderful and glorious and special to me, and I'll never forget them (or you...ifyaknowwhatimean), but this separation has become too tough for me, and I've moved on. You are out there overseas, (apparently) fighting for our freedoms back home, but it's too hard for me. I've found new people, better people (like Sam...totally like Sam! We're BFFs, as long as BFF stands for "people, who left alone in a room, will carve their own shiv and kill each other") and I just don't think waiting around for you is worth it.
I don't know what else to say, because although I'm the female spouse in this situation, I still have the verbal communication skills of an adult male. Don't ask why, analyzing this situation will only cause you grief and misery. I don't know what else goes into this letter. See, it's funny because its relevant, and your name is John. But you knew that, didnt'cha, Dr. BowlCut!
I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be.
I think it's time I step out of the cupboard, and do whatever that other Indian did.
Like peacefully live on his own land literally in the middle of nowhere, only for white people to give him smallpox.
Yikes this just took a left turn.
JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SINGLE-CELLED CROMAGNON TUB'O'LARD LOOKIN CANADIAN-BACON HUFFIN GUETAPENS!
Looooooooove,
Ashwin
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