Twas the night before Friday and all through the house

not a Kreacher was stirring not even a mouse.

First off, i'm way too tired for this shit so this'll be like a table of contents for me to expand on later on the exciting parts of the day.

Also for all the credit Rowling gets for "masterful storytelling" and "creativity"...we need to put a big ol pause button on that horseshit and talk about her creativity in names.

Remus Lupin - homeboy is a werewolf, and his last name is lupin...which isn't that far from lupus...canus lupus...OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE GRAY WOLF SPECIES NAME, DONTCHA? also, Remus? Seriously the only other Remus ever was the founder of Rome.

Voldemort. From the french Vol de Mort.  How you wanna play me JKR i took french. Mort means death. de is a participle or something meaning "of" or "from." and 'vol' means "theft" or "flight"...so hoss's name means "theft of death" or "flight from death" #BreakinOutSomeRealCreativity.  Tolkien invented his own goddamn language, woman! Keep up! WTF does Sauron even mean in "normal" human tongues? Don't worry, take ya time I'll wait.

Draco Malfoy - oh you mean the Slytherin symbol is a snake...Draco is a snake constellation...btw Saruman doesnt mean anything either, to save you some time.

Although credit is due where credit is earned...Hermione is a wild name that nobody had ever heard before. JKR was playing scrabble and had a Riddikulus arrangment of tiles.

Weasley - I'm sure there's something about WEASELS living in a BURROW.

Also yo Raul and I, we balled for 2 straight hours and I needed some vittles so I had to hit up the alien time machine right so we were driving up Dan Allen to Hillbrugh, and we saw all these orientation kids...so wat do? Rolled down the window and yelled at dozens of chirren "DONT GO HERE" and "GO BACK HOME"...reminded me of the time freshman year when i was strollin down Daniels way and some tour group stopped and asked me why I chose State and I was like "cuz it was 20x cheaper than Berkeley."

But in my defense, i was wearing my bamf Cal hat, and I was still superpissed about replacing a view of the Bay Area and Golden Gate Bridge with a view of fuckign Jaden "i'm a lying moron" Johnson or whatever his goofy name was.

Some other things happened today too: locked myself out again, ate lunch, wondered if weather people understand that "100% chance of precipitation" does NOT mean "sunny weather and blue skies" cuz that totally delayed my ass getting kicked at some tennis. #whew

Watched two fucking legends of the game goalkeep their way through the most interesting 0-0 match ever.  Reminded me of that time I accidentally saved a PK cuz my shoe fell off and slowed the ball down enough for me to jump on it.  Holy moses did Enloe sucked at sports.

Also I heard some people over the last few days about the whole DOMA strikedown (in the most commonsense idea since "yo as it turns out black people ARE THE #@$#@(*@)#$(*!@!@ SAME as white people #omg #nowai #yahweh") by saying "just cuz its legal doesnt mean its right":

a) who the fuck are you thinking that? Are ya God? No? Oh okay then, get the fuck off your imaginary high horse your retardship
b) who gives a shit what the Bible says? 1) you dont know if its true 2) i thought God loved everyone equally and men were created in his image uhoh looks like God might like rainbows! 3) Separation of Church and State...i'd go into details about what that means, but it seemed pretty easy to understand from the title. but it took the church like 400 years to figure out "shit, the earth isn't the center of everything" so i'm thinking by 123094 gay people will be acknowledged as just as human as the priests touching little boys.
c) what the hell is wrong with you? how does george takei and nph getting married affect ANYTHING about your life? oh no adam and steve are married...you still have the same problems you did today
d) "a right to life, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF FUCKING HAPPINESS" gay people bug you? guess what, that's YOUR problem to deal with not theirs. holy crapola.

No idea what else i wanted to say, cuz now I'm all pissed at religious morons.  Oh, mormons, I hope to everything you send Elder Timmy and Elder Jonas to my door tomorrow I do I do I do.