Alfred Hitchcock's Worst Nightmare...

...a movie by M Night Shaymalamadingdong

So Kanye and whatsherface Kardashian had a baby...and called the little thing North.  Now I aint sayin she a gold digger, but she aint hanging with no broke (PAULA DEEN YOU RACIST SLUT).

Seriously though...who gives a flying fuck about Paula Deen? She cooks shit.  She has a TV show about cooking...and she's not even funny or intelligent or anything! She has a slow southern drawl, like someone is continuously curbstomping her larynx, and she's reinforcing gender stereotypes about how women are only useful in the kitchen.  And people going "omg black people say it to each other all the time"...hey crackahs theres a big difference between "yo mah nigga lets go hit up churchs and then the courts" and "SOME NIGGER PUT A GUN TO MY FACE AT THE BANK TODAY THE LITTLE SHIT."

Context, motherfucka, do you know it?  Holy jesus between the Zimmerman trial (omg six women what does this even MEAN) and this shit (paula deen paula deen paula deen...man i'm gonna go spit on her grave someday for ruining news broadcasts...tell me about the traitor Snowden, not some fat lardball who cooks on a useless cable network, or the floods in Calgary and India, or the riots in choose-your-favorite-country, or LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE) i'm starting to figure out how native US-ians get radicalized.

ALSO DEAR JEWS JONATHAN POLLARD IS A BACKSTABBING LICEHAVING SHITEATING SHEEPFUCKING ASSLICKING BOOTSTRAPPING REDCOATLOVING TRAITOROUS BITCH.  THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU.  TELL YOUR ALAN DERSHOWITZ-LOVING KOSHER ENTITLED WARMONGERING MOSSADIAN DERRIERS TO STOP BEING DOUCHES.

Hey guys I solved all our terrorism problems.  If we take our 3 BILLION a year out of Israel, maybe everyone else will stop hating us and we can put that to fix our OWN country, not some other one that steals from us CONTINUOUSLY.  Los Alamos National Lab? Mossad worked with CSIS (China) to break in and steal all sorts of nuclear data.  The Israelis have a secret nuclear lab that they lie to the US about ALL the time.  And what do we even get from Israel? 9/11? The USS Cole? This is the world's worst friendship.  Even Ron Weasley wasn't this harmful.

So yeah the baby is North freaking West.  I'm sure there's some joke about Kim Kardashian being the North West passage (gurl she got a HUGE vajayjay), or some badass MS Paint job with a Northwest aircraft...but I'll leave such crude humour to reddit.

My take on the situation is that North West should marry Oliver North's grandson, making her North North. Or if she feels all empowered and shit, North North-West.

Oh and yo my boyyy Jerry is in the Raleigh situation.

#HailState