So, the 'city' of Detroit (that's french for "of narrow," in case you were wondering) declared they were bankrupt, and I assume that means that their assets will be liquidated as soon as possible. It has always been a dream of mine to have a shitton of money, only because I would like to spend it in terribly obtuse ways that would only be refused for seemingly petty reasons. For instance, I want to renovate the Dean Dome and make it top of the line and a fan paradise, but the condition being that I can rename it to "The Krzyzewski-Valvano Center For Kids Who Want Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too." Or buy Kenan Stadium, rename it "Russell Wilson Field at Tom O'Brien Field" and relocate it to 13-0 Flagship Way.
Or buy the Pentagon and name it the "Square"
Paint the White House bright teal.
Buy Nike and change the slogan to "Aint Nobody Got Time Fer Dat"
Buy an Adidas outlet and only sell Puma gear.
Fund children's centers and schools in Pakistan and write a book about all of the 'hard work' put into it - no wait that's already been done #whoops #fraudhard
But this, this gives me a chance, to give the Red Wings they brand new arena they've always wanted. Ladies and gents, we begin funding efforts to build a hockey stadium named after Claude Lemieux, right next to St. Patrick Memorial Hospital. Brbs starting a kickstarter campaign.
#FreePipita
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