Like seriously parents get your shit together with the naming of the lil'uns. You give them weird-ass names, and I'm pretty sure had I run into any of them in elementary school/weren't terrified of the ghetto neighborhoods around said elementary school I would have mercilessly abused them. Well no I take that back, LaMonday was my bff in 4th grade. She was pretty chill. Regardless, the point is there's nothing wrong with a solid name like "Fred" or "Thomas" there's no need to add about a dozen unnecessary letters that constitute prepositions and identifiers in other languages, like "La" "Le" "De" or other dumb shit like that. Or just take a scrabble gameset, take the 7 letters you start with and try to make a name. That's how shit like Monzaqa happens. Or use alphabet soup "hey this is my son abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz" "nigga dafuq that's the whole alphabet you lazy shit"
Also, don't name your kid after a place. "Caroline" is fine because that's a name, but "India"? No. "India" is not the name of a human. I know this, because before 1947, none of the black people named "India" had ever heard of "India" and even then it probably took longer than that. How would you like it if my child was named "Mozambique" or "Timbuktu" or whoops found a gem "Lake Titicaca".
Everyone's in a fit about that kid being named "Messiah" which I find hilarious because every hispanic not named "Carlos" "Luis" or "Juan" is named "Jesus", which I'm pretty sure is worse, because at least "Messiah" is religion-neutral whereas "Hay-zeus" not only is spelled like the JC man, the pronunciation brings the Greek old boy Zeus in, and I'm pretty sure the wrath of Zeus actually killed like a shitton of Greeks.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_people_did_Zeus_kill
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_people_did_Zeus_rape
Oh and I feel like I learned somewhere that "Muhammad" is the world's most common name. And it also seems like Islam has the most visibly angry people (am I wrong, Bassil?), soooo...yeah. Some of you folks with a better understanding of world history (so mainly Bassil I guess) may try to poke some holes at Hinduism and try to be like "Ashwin you got some crazies up in there too yaknow don't be biased" so fair enough I'm going to list every terrorism-y thing Hindus have done outside of India:
So yeah, I don't hate on hindu extremists because we keep the anger and terrorism in-house. We're polite like that. We killed Gandhi, we attacked the Golden Temple in 1984, etc etc. We're like black people: if we have an argument, we won't involve yall in it. The only difference is if you try to get involved, gangsters will shoot you too, whereas we'll sell you some spices, cotton and tech support to get you out of the way.
Regardless so apparently my apartment complex was replacing the entire sink unit in my bathroom, which is fine and all, except homeboy had a 'family emergency' before he could finish and now I have no water in my bathroom. Look, unless your wife immediately went into labor, whatever the fuck happened can wait the extra minute or so it takes to put the faucets back in and connect the shit up, asshole. If someone died, guess what, they're still gonna be dead a minute from now, and getting there at 5:33 instead of 5:29 aint gonna bring them back. And if someone's in the hospital...you're clearly not a doctor, so your presence 3 minutes later isn't gonna to affect their broken leg situation.
UGH.
Anyhoo, I'm debating ways to jerryrig my bathoom so that when he opens the door the tiny allen wrenches that came with my furniture swing in and puncture his eardrums...until next time, gathedos! Ashwin, OUT.
No comments:
Post a Comment