Whaddup. Discovered yesterday that if I take an apple logo and throw it on a toaster with a touch screen (that doesn't actually do anything)...or just soder an itouch to a toaster...i could probably sell it for a thousand bucks easy. #OnlyInAmerica
I love that saying "only in America" because it can convey both the good and awesome parts of America, but at the same time represent how fucking retarded, greedy, and arrogant the US is. I mean, only in America do journalists have the right to invade the privacy of everyone and everything (as does the NSA, but that's a whole different thing) in the interest of "an informed public"...but at the same time, 'only in America' could you discover that the terrorist+group you're looking for is in one country, and invade another for
Anyway on to today's questions:
Dear Amy: Due to a job layoff last year, our 32-year-old daughter has been living with my husband and me. She recently returned to work but receives a low salary and no health insurance.
She has a gluten intolerance, which requires meals without wheat and other additives. She refuses to eat the difficult-to-find and expensive gluten-free meals I purchase, accept any money or use the microwave. The food she purchases is scant.
She appears emaciated but is adamant (without medical advice) that her weight is normal. She became irate when I voiced my concern.
My husband feels that as an adult she can make her own decisions. I believe that she is rebelling against her need to return home at her age. What can we do before she is hospitalized for anorexia? — Terrified Mother
Dear your husband is right (omg!),So your daughter is 32. That seems like an adult age...I'm willing to give a pass on the "return to live at home" because it's starting to become increasingly apparent that people knowingly don't major in STEM fields...and so it doesn't bother me when your "Shakespearean Literature Through The Ages" child doesn't have better job offers than McDonald's (she can sell McHam(let)'n'cheese!) or Burger King Lear. Anyway she should be applauded for trying to live within her means (minus rent of course...but whatever we can't all work hard and study useful things, apparently). And I love it when people are like "omg omg anoxeria is a disease too! waaah don't you understand how serious it is! waaaaaaaah" I don't give a shit about it (#gasp #youmeanashwindoesn'tcareaboutyour'disease' #noyoumedicaidscammers #idont #stopwastingmytaxpayermoney) because there are actual medical problems in the world, and your prima donna daughter weighing 83 lbs is not one of them. Besides you don't actually know if she is anorexic, all you know is that she's eating less because she's got less money to spend on food.
I don't know about you, but where I come from, that sort of economic intelligence and financial awareness should be applauded. Good on you, liberal arts girl, for not being a COMPLETE fool.
Um, anyone actually offended that anorexia doesn't bother me can go shove a broom up their ass. If you don't want to eat, fine, buy the packaged food you would have eaten (if you weren't mental), and donate it to little Mphela in Subsaharan Africa who is also not eating because every WHO and UNICEF shipment is stolen by militias and bartered for weapons to massacre millions. Yeah your eating problem sure seems important to me know, rich girl. Also do men get anorexia? We watched some movie on it in elementary school, and I distinctly remember them all being female. I'm sure there's some subtle message here about how women operate and how men operate and how anorexia seems very gender-biased. #DealWithIt
Dear Amy: My fiance's parents and his adult brother like to visit us in "the big city" as often as possible. Their stays generally range from one to three days in length but it is the frequency of the visits that bothers me.
His brother is typically at our house one to two weekends a month. He uses our place as a crash pad after a night of drinking. This bothers me on a lot of different levels. During the day he leaves a trail of messes that I am left to pick up after, including empty beer cans, dirty dishes, etc. After his visits I launder the sheets and towels.
On the opposite weeks, my fiance's parents like to visit — from one to three times a month. They typically stay during the week, which is often disruptive to my heavy work schedule (and life in general) as we have to entertain them in the evenings.
Once again, I am responsible for laundering sheets and towels. I tried to make this the responsibility of my fiance but he is perfectly OK with dirty linens.
I have gently voiced my frustration to him. He says I'm being ridiculous and must accept this if I am going to live with him.
I work long hours, and I don't want to be responsible for hosting guests all the time. This issue is driving a wedge between us. I feel bitter and angry. What can I do or say to limit the number of visits his family makes? — Prisoner in my Own Home
Dear #TFM,man your fiancee+family sound like jerks. Ditch him. The fact that he isn't bothered by this means that he's either oblivious to rudeness or doesn't give a shit about how it affects you. I think you should ditch him. But do it at the alter. It'll be that much better for you. And because you know it's happening in advance, you can prepare for it, warn your (and only your) guests and family, don't have to buy expensive dresses/shoes/whatever, you probably can keep some of the gifts anyway...you can respond to his dickish family by being the world's greatest cunt! And I mean that with all the love in the world.
Dear Amy: Congratulations on your time off. After 10 years, it was about time. I have to say I really enjoyed your "best of" columns and frequently found myself laughing out loud. There were some real gems in there? — Don
Dear Don,
You really don't understand this job, do you. It literally takes like 20 minutes. I can't believe Amy takes time off...you could do this job from 7:30 to 7:50, and then take the REST OF THE FUCKING DAY OFF. As jobs go, this is the easiest. I can't believe she gets paid to help you sorry people "solve" your problems. Oy Vey just man the fuck up and deal with your problems...they're called YOUR PROBLEMS cuz their YOURS not OURS.
#9DaysOfRaleigh #HiguainMadeItToNorthLondon! #FuckNapoli #EmiratesCup2013 #Fuckit,It'sSilverware
No comments:
Post a Comment