Dear Amy: I am thrilled to be marrying my beloved fiance this fall! We are so excited. There's only one problem.
My ex, "Steve," broke up with me a year ago. It was not a happy relationship, but I loved him and getting over him was hard.
As soon as I got serious with my fiance, Steve decided that he still loves me and wants to be with me. I have tried to be firm but kind in saying that it's out of the question.
Since then Steve has said twice that he is going to crash the wedding. My response was casual but clear (obviously that he shouldn't do it), because I don't want it to become a battle of wills. I haven't spoken with him since, but it would be in keeping with his personality to do it anyway.
I can't bring myself to talk to my fiance about it, because I don't want to mar the anticipation of the day for him, especially if nothing happens.
Information about the wedding is not public, but there's a chance he could somehow find out the place and time. I have thought about hiring security or talking to male friends of his to talk sense into him.
I'm starting to have nightmares about all the ways this could ruin the happiest day of my life, and far worse, ruin my fiance's day. I love him so much, and I can't stand the thought of how it would make him feel.
— A Terrified Bride
Dear wahahahah only in America,God I love this...these questions are so easy! Once again (maybe I should get a stamp), try communicating with your man. Tell him what the hell is going on...otherwise you're just setting a friggin wonderful precedent of lying and secrecy! Before the marriage even begins! hahahahah people like you singlehandidly keep marriage counselors in business! Also using my rough estimates, you're marrying a dude 15ish months after you met him...in the words of Aziz Ansari, "I've had longer relationships with my sweater! Sometimes I'll look and find it in my closet after a few years and be like 'what the hell was I doing with this? what a terrible decision!'" so man this marriage is ending in divorce. Maybe Steve should just wait it out. Yeah lemme go talk to steve...HEY STEVE! YO STEVE! yeah man look so dont creep on this wedding, k? Just wait it out, it'll end in a volcanic eruption (Sharknado? SLOTHCANO!) - especially if she doesn't communicate with the hubster - and then you can go and pick the pieces up #winning #tigerblood #isitinyou
Dear Amy: My 19-year-old dog sitter flooded our bathroom floor while we were away, and it damaged the ceiling of the condo below us.
By her own admission, it was her fault, caused by pointing the shower head out the shower door. The plumber says he doesn't even understand how (or why) she did it.
We just moved into the building, so besides the $400 plumber costs and repairs, it also damaged our relationship with the neighbors. I don't know why she was showering in our home.
The dog sitter's mother is demanding I pay her because it was "an accident."
I replied that I was waiting for the bills to come in for the repairs and would handle it with her daughter directly.
Should I pay her fully, pay her partially or not at all? We all make mistakes.
— Single Mom
Dear this is why we don't let women out of the kitchen,Holy crap. Holy...wow. So many levels to this...the dog sitter is a dumb bitch (heheh #puns)...who the FUCK POINTS THE SHOWER HEAD OUT THE SHOWER DOOR? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THINKS "HEY LEMME DO THIS RIGHT QUICK?" WHAAAAAAAAAT. So wow, yeah she's dumb as shit. I wouldn't trust her to keep an eye on a friggin tree...aka a treesitter. I wouldn't trust her with anything other than...actually nothing. There is nothing this dumbass cunt can be trusted with. But its not all her fault, clearly based on her mother's reaction, this retardness is hereditary. HEY JOHNS HOPKINS WE DISCOVERED STUPIDITY IS HEREDITARY! CALL THE CDC AND STOCKHOLM! #nobelprizetime holy jesus I cant get over this...man this is hardcore reminding me of that time B@ssil tried to install a bidet and turned his toilet's plumbing into the delta of the Nile (#egypt/lebanon #whatsthedifference #brownisasbrowndoes)...oh lordy that was funny #canyoulaughaboutityetba$$il? #no? #toobad #itsfuckinghilarious
It was an accident? Who the hell accidentally turns on a shower head out of the fucking shower area? I understand 'whoops bumped this shit' but then you immediately realize "oh crud its spillin water erewhere" and you immediately fix that shit...not just stare and go "hmmm well bummer might as well cause a flood"...also, why the fuck was she showering there anyway? #cunt #whorestatus #smackthatbitch i don't even know who this happened to (oh damn single mom that's...yeah, that's funny) but i'm fucking furious! and she wants to get paid! bitch how about you FIX MY FUCKING HOME YOU SHITLESS EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN...wants to get paid yeah you show up here and ask for money...see what the fuck happens...you know how the joker got that scar? HE FUCKING BROKE A CONDO AND THEN WAS ARROGANT ENOUGH TO ASK FOR PAYMENT
oy vey. #somethingabouthowafricadoesntevenunderstandthisproblem "hey ohwanooko what's 'water' and 'flooding'" "i dont know jamalo mashburnoho it must be when the rivers flow with our blood and the bullets fall from the sky while machetes massacre our youth"
On the serious though this is a problem as far as plumbing and home quality goes...but not as a social problem. This is as easy as it gets: don't pay the bitch, make her pay for your water damages/plumbing costs/etc (if you wanna be nice take her wages out of your costs). If she doesn't...sue her for damages + breaking and entering. Chances are you have a verbal (aka no one can prove this) deal, and yet there she was in your house damaging it. #lawyerup #owndatass
Dear Amy: I got a kick out of your reprint of a letter from "Under Pressure in D.C," whose child still loved his blankie. One of my children (in college) still loves her "blankie."
As a baby she was my "Velcro" kid — attached to my hip. She needed to feel safe and secure more than my other children and uses her blankie when she needs to decompress.
— Secure Mom
Dear for the love of god you people are pathetic,Nothing. No. Nada. NO. These are signs of some deep psychological neurosis that need to be solved now before your needy daughter turns into some casey anthony psycho bitch who drowns their children.
#12DaysOfRaleigh #31DaysForArseneToDoSomething #Anything #SeriouslyAW #DOSOMETHING
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