Thor's Day and Free Day

Wow what a trip.  It had the potential to be so nonchalant, not overly exciting, just a nice calm ceremony for two friends.  Somehow I forgot I would be there, with an open bar and a camera, and a host of amazing ideas.  Let's just do this shit chronologically.


THE FOLLOWING EVENTS TAKE PLACE BETWEEN 5 PM AND 1 AM ON THE DAY OF THE CALIFORNIA GENERAL PRIMARY jk they took place on Thursday in Raleigh.  And Jack Bauer and fauxbama weren't there either.  Or his crazy daughter.  Or any crazy Serbians.  Just me, Bon Jovi and his crazy roommates.  Hadn't seen this fool in quite some time, so it was good kicking it with him.  I spent the evening convincing everyone not to go to the main graduation ceremony in the PNC, and I think I actually got most of them to understand how shittastic it was.  Like, really shitty.  Departmental graduations are the way to go.


I assume it goes without saying, but we were definitely drunk before most people even decide to go downtown and celebrate graduation week, and it was at that point I had an excellent conversation with one Andy Rooney #RIPinpeace

"On the realsies...happy birthday"
"Ummm you know my birthday is in September, right?"
"NOT A CLUE WHAT IS HAPPENING"
"My birthday is the 18th of September, who the hell told you it was in May?"
"NO ONE I DONT KNOW THE MONDAYS ARE IN SEPTEMBER LA TE DAHHH LOOK AT YOU KNOW WOOOOOOOO"
"Rofl so you're pretty drunk then"
"YEEEEEE"


So yeah.  Happy birthday Andy.  You may be thinking...'goddamnit we JUST WENT THROUGH THIS SHIT.  And you're probably sober, so you can't use that as any sort of justification so ashwin WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" well my dearest anderson, let me tell you.  If I wish you happy birthday on your actual birthday, then my action becomes diluted by similar wellwishings from all the other people.  But by doing it 4 months ahead of time...it stands alone.  Same reason I haven't given John a birthday present in the right season, let alone the right month.

And speaking of John...I can't believe he didn't understand the following:

"THE CHEESE AND THE RAT AND THE LOLOLOLOL CAN WHAT DHUEAH SBSBSBS AAAAAAAH  YEEEEEEE BOIEEEEEEEEEE WEDDISLBG LDDDD PLANES PLANES BOTAS ANDSKLT"

I mean I know he's got an extra chromosome...but come on, that should only help him figure out what this means.  "the cheese and the rat" is clearly a reference to the rat race that is life, and how much he works at it.  "lolololol" can only be me laughing at him for working so hard.  "can what" is clearly the new rap phrase of choice that is confusing to understand.  "dhueah sbsbsbs" is latin for...ummm...something.  "weddislbg" is clearly a wedding for the LBG community (cuz fuck the 'T' mirite WBC?).  "planes planes botas" is clearly
a list of ways to get to Knoxville, and 'andslkt' is clearly swedish for "maybe i need to go to bed now and not talk to people via the phone"


So yeah, Thursday and Friday were rather therapeutic, relaxing days catching up with peeps, scoring free beer at Mitch's because I'm fucking awesome and have all this karmic greatness that is coming back to me in the best ways (hey my life sucks BUT MATES I SCORED SOME FREE BEER! HOORAY BEER!).  Oh and we have our first entry in the "Most Surprising Event Of The Weekend"

TEXT "A FIRE IS BURNING IN MY HOUSE" TO 9-1-1 TO VOTE FOR THE FOLLOWING:

A) Ryan Jones breaking two bones in his foot whilst completely sober after slipping on a curb.  I want to go into more details about each entry so you can make an informed decision...but that's all I've got, and that's all that you really need to know.  A grown man slipped on a curb and BROKE TWO BONES IN HIS FEET.

Jonesy you know I love you but my nigga add some calcium to your diet! The tensile strength of your bones IS RIDDICALOUS! 23 year old white males from the suburbs don't get osteofuckingperosis.

Again, text "A FIRE IS BURNING IN MY HOUSE" to 9-1-1 to vote for "RYAN JONES BREAKING FOOT".


You know when 'your homey breaking his foot' is something you have to actively remember means that the weekend was fucking fantastic.