If I had minions, the world would be fucked.

Seriously though there are times I'm honestly concerned about myself.  Like this morning, on my way to make #Octomon a reality...

Wait, what?

This lady was selling TWO solid monitors for 15 bucks.  I'm definitely sure I could resell each of them for between 25-50 each, so this was a mega steal.  Plus factoring in that it was 15 bucks and 11 am, I was definitely confident it wasn't a heist operation where I get shanked and robbed.

But then I had the following thought about counterfeiting money and how to get away with it.  So obviously stores and banks and shit, they all use some basic test to confirm that its a real twenty.  However, some dude on craigslist doesn't give a flying fuck.  So as long as they're solid fakes, not necessarily solid enough to pass tough scrutiny (aka no need to go overboard in spending on printing presses and plates to create fake 20s) you could definitely just buy a shitton of stuff off craigslist, then resell it to other people.

Boom.  Done.  More or less pure profit.  Find a 600 dollar computer, roll up with a roll of 20s, dude doesnt give a fuck he'll just count, make sure there are 30 of em and give you your shit.

Then go back onto craigslist...sell it for, idk, 400-500? Some dude like me will be like "yo steal alert" and then give you real money (because i'm not a fucking criminal, just someone who specializes in...how to say this...expediting the 'free' process? Using technical loopholes? Whatever it is, not really a criminal. Speaking of which...found a cicis nearby #gameon), and all of a sudden you traded 600 fake dollars (actual value: 15 years in prison) for 400 real dollars (actual value: no prison time, $400).  Seems legit to me.

Regardless, I now have two more monitors.  Add this in the the other 2 monitors I already had, plus the Mac and ASUS, and the new Samsung, plus the shitty Dell that no one in my group misses...that's 4 monitors for 4 computers.

Now I need to go run matlab (literally don't know what to do with all these extra windows) to verify that 4 monitors + 4 monitors = 8 AND OH SHIT IT DOES #HERE #WE #GO
- email
- gedit for the C code i'm writing
- this blog window
- pandora
- espn
- extra internet window
- espn2
- ????

Bonus points to whoever remembers that ballin beat.

TL;DR:

#octomon?

YES

WE


DID

#GigEm

#somethingsneverchange

So its 145 am.  You may be saying "hey ashwin whatcha doing up at 145 in the damn morning" WELL I'LL TELL YOU.

WATCHING THE FUCKING SAN FUCKING DIEGO FUCKING ASSCLOWNS BLOW A 21 PT LEAD.  NOT ONLY DID WE LOSE ON A LAST SECOND FG, HOUSTON SCORED 24 UNANSWERED TO END THE GAME.


GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

What a colossal kick to the nuts.

These undergrads will be the death of me.

Ugh these pesky undergrads are (#)@)_!@*! killing me...driving through campus and trying to park is a damn nightmare any time before noon...its almost as if I'm not supposed to come to campus before noon, let alone 9 am...but I definitely and absolutely know that if I try to work at home this is exactly what will happen (and I know this based on this is what I've done every single day until now, because I've never really had to do work at home (i wanna say they have a word for this...i'm researching it as we speak) so until today it's never been a problem):

- wake up

- stumble into bathroom

- see I haven't shaved in 21 days, get incredibly terrified by the walking man-beast yeti sasquatch thing staring at me

- realize its me, have a chuckle

- wonder if i should shave

- stroke the wonderfully thick and lustrous beard

- decide not to

- forget to brush because my brain goes "we've been in here for like 10 minutes surely you brushed"

- leave

- stare at random shit on the internet for a while

- wonder why my mouth tastes like death

- remember I didn't brush

- go brush

- decide to eat breakfast

- open every cabinet in kitchen

- realize that yet again all i have is peanut butter, nutella, bread, cereal and waffles in terms of food, and then gatorade, milk and vanilla coke in terms of liquid.

- wonder if i should get something else

- realize that if i do nothing all do then i'll not burn calories thus precluding that caloric intake isn't necessary

- get really hungry 3 hours later

- clench teeth and proclaim to no one in particular "you will not beat me in a mind-game, stomach! I AM BETTER THAN YOU"

- eventually stomach concedes defeat

- at this point its roughly noon, the movie's done and i've been playing video games for like 3 hours

So yeah, this process will more or less repeat itself all day unless I come in to mein cubicle to work.

http://www.mden.com/shopping/product.cgi?5146+2058

loooook what i found! :3

Here's a picture of Michigan State's superstar Gary Harris wearing a Maize Rage shirt:

Sing it with me Gar-bear!

HAIL TO THE VICTORS VALIANT
HAIL TO THE CONQUERING HEROES
HAIL HAIL TO MICHIGAN
THE LEADERS AND THE BEST!

HAIL TO THE VICTORS VALIANT
HAIL THE CONQUERING HEROES
HAIL HAIL TO MICHIGAN
THE CHAMPIONS OF THE (MID)WEST!



hahah he looks just like "omg guys really what is this izzo is gonna kill me if he sees this"

#OzilIsAGunner

Just a friendly PSA that you all should take very seriously.

Because I'm a big fan of me, and I'd really rather not die.

If Mesut Ozil signs for Arsenal, around 11 am someone needs to call the Knoxville Police, specifically whatever alcohol poisoning wing they have, because I will definitely be throwing down the Guinness in celebration.

And if AW signs no one (using the old "getting players back from injuries is like a new signing" bullshit) someone needs to call the same alcohol poisoning wing because the day after Michigan lost the you know what to you know who was just a rough day in terms of not being able to eat all day and throwing up straight rum, and I don't want to deal with that shit again.  The obvious solution is to not care this much about Arsenal BUT THATS NOT EVER GONNA HAPPEN COME ON YOU GUNNERS!

ARSENE WENGER'S RED ARMY

LOOK AT THAT FACE



LOOK AT THAT GLORIOUS MUG

THAT VISAGE

THAT...COUNTENANCE

THAT PHYSIOGNOMY


mmmmmm.

The face that launched a thousand transfer requests #HelenOfTroy #ArseneOfLondon #StepoffBitch

GIROUD
GIROUD
GIROUD IS ON FIYAH








I will admit r/coys you didn't bitch out on the wager with r/Gunners.

Look at that shiny Arsenal crest!

Victoria Concordia Crescit

HE MAY BE CAST IN BRONZE, BUT HE'S STILL CAPABLE OF TRULY GOLDEN MOMENTS!







But seriously click on that Thierry Henry pic.  How's that for some friggin hi-res shit, eh?  I'm feeling nice so bonus Thierry Henry photo plus some free Lio Messi trash talk:

I can't...hear what Lio Messi is saying...I have a WORLD CUP stuck in my ears...










Oh I'm feeling extra happy about the spectacular NLD from earlier so here's another shot plus a poem!

ROSES ARE RED

VIOLETS ARE BLUE

ARSENAL FIVE

TOTTENHAM TWO









But seriously on that Mesut Ozil thing.  I'm a huge fan of Germany as well, as we all know, so I would just be tickled pink if anozza Germahn ver to joyn ze skvad vit Per und Poldi.

Ladies and Gents don't drink and blog.

Bunsenburner Calldispatch, at your service

http://benedictcumberbatchgenerator.tumblr.com

Oh what a satisfactory weekend

Shit started off Friday with a PicNuke (hahahahahahah i get it do you get it oh you don't get it well let me tell you the word is actually picnic and its the Nuclear Engineering department and Nuke sounds like Nic and god damn it I fucking hate the people in charge of UTNE's community activities wing #undergraduatesaresoannoying #mirite) anyway so the park we went to for this shindig was pretty chill - it had a river-y stream thing running through it.

But there was this sign, which basically said "NIGGAS DONT TOUCH THE WATER SHIT IS A BIOHAZARD CUZ WE PUMP ALL THE SEWAGE OF KNOXVILLE THROUGH THIS STREAM SO SHIT IS LIKE A SERIOUS DEAL DON'T #@($*)@@%)( TOUCH IT" so when homeboy from Texas tried to be Colt McCoy (well really more like Case, who sucks ass lololol #fuckyoumackbrown #boomersooner) and lofted the shit 20 feet above Idabro's (bro from UIdaho) head into the river we were literally like "well ok time to find a new ball aint nobody got time fer biopoisons"

So yeah then after that had a minipar-tayh with okie and sam and some other people they knew...all I know is I got drunk, then roughly at 4 in the morning I made the decision to drive home (no regrets...I had been not drinking alcohol for 4 hours, and had been pissing it out and drinking water so in all seriousness it was fine.  Calm your shit) but one of the other chicas I had just met was all like "no you shouldnt drive home" and I was like "if you think i'm still drunk because i'm acting like a moron its only because we haven't met sober and you haven't learned I do dumb shit sober too" but she was like supremely annoying about the whole thing and I really wanted to sleep in my bed at home so I basically had to do a little juke and run down the street before she could fully get up and stop me #innerathlete

It was pretty much this.  My brain shut down and I flew down the parking lot.  I'm legitimately sure only Whitey couldve caught up to me, but considering I'm like 80 lbs and a foot taller I wouldve thrown him off me like a Limp Bizkit.






So yeah that was enjoyable.  I also got my final piece of furniture so operation #quadmon is complete.  In fact...given that I just purchased a new work laptop since moving my Mac back and forth from campus to home is a just a terrible idea from a hardware structure perspective (bought a Samsung ATIV Ultrabook...shits tight...but windows 8 is...weird.  it takes some getting used to, no doubt.) so I might even get to create my new hashtag #Quintmon.  But as of right now I'm still working with #quadmon at home...hold on I took a photo with el itouch

We can see the TV on in the middle of #quadmon with the Cal game on, and the Mac on sleep in the far right, and in the bottom left corner (hard to see since there was no lighting on that portion of the table at 2 am) theres the Samsung.






So yeah then Saturday I just stayed home and watched football all day while finishing off all the food in my home.  it was excellent.  Saw some college gameday, watched Johnny Manziel act like a true douchebag (I'm all for taunting but when you literally just avoided being suspended for the entire season for selling your signature DONT FUCKING JOKE ABOUT IT AS SOON AS YOU GET ON THE FIELD), saw 'Cuse throw away a winnable game, saw MissSt just suck at life, watched State roll Skip Holtz, blinked and saw Tennessee score 42 first half points, saw Meeechigan start off the post denard era with a solid win, thrillingly enjoyed the Clemson-Georgia game which lived up to all of the fanfare associated with it for the last 8 months, saw Cal nearly pull off a stunner, saw the Mad Hatter up to his old tricks (can't believe I didn't trust LSU #perfectweek) and I'll be damned if Todd Gurley doesn't win the Heisman before he leaves ol #GloryGlory.

Oh and today was glorious.  NORTH LONDON IS RED.

ONE-NIL,

TO THE ARSENAL!

ONE-NIL,

TO THE ARSENAL!

ONE-NIL,

TO THE ARSENAL!

ONE-NIL!

TO THE ARSENAL!