Well howdy-ho, folks.
Nothing new to report, other than I learned what guetapens means.
I called John that yesterday, and today I thought (pretty much the only thing I thought all day), "self, you don't know what that means" and self responded "we sure don't, but does it really matter?" And to that I said "self, this is how we learn things. We call people names, then we look up what those words mean" and self agreed, so we looked it up.
Definitely not an insult, because it definitely makes no sense as an insult. But then again, the best insults don't make sense.
Oh, yeah, I'm not telling you what it means. Go look it up yourself, you group of lazy clowncakes.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
AWWRITE AWWRITE AWWWRIIIIITEEEEEE
I'm sorry, I just love that picture of Arshavin. I just look at it, and I'm like, "yup that looks about right." And then I think about stuff, and I look back, and I'm like "yup yup I feel you, my Russian amigo."
Then I think about classes I have to take to graduate, and I just start crying - but not real crying, cuz I'm a man and men don't cry. Except for during Hotel Rwanda, because that was ohmigod depressing as all hell. On the serious, Britain, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let you split up your empire? It was like they found a specialneeds kid, got him drunk, gave him a paper map and scissors and said "ello guvnah we gots some tea'n'croompets fer ya on the barbie so just do a real good joob and we'll see aboot those fish'n'chips from the ol' cockney shop down the way, but be sure to MIND THE GAP you tosspot!"
And then Ron Weasley came by, but not really Ron Weasley, cuz if it were really Ron Weasley he wouldn't have shown up at all. Because counting on Ron to do something useful is, generally speaking, a Hail-Mary gamble that you use when you're down two goals in the 90' and you have to pull your goalie. Let's be real, you see the 5th youngest redhead child in a family, and you know at that point his genes are coming from the recessive sides of the Punnett square. But yeah, apart from a chess game his first year, and mimicking (read: NOT ORIGINAL CONTENT) Harry's parseltongue at the end of the 7th book, he doesn't do much:
1 - he befriends a random orphan. Seriously, don't %^&$#%&^!@!%#$ talk to strangers, kids.
2 - his wand snaps, his car flies into the woods, his sister opens the chamber of secrets, he loses his wand to FREAKING gilderoy lockhart
3 - it comes to light that he's been harboring a known criminal for more than a decade, he breaks his leg which causes the fellas to lose track of peetah pettigruuuh and lose him...again, he torments hermione and that's just a crime against humanity
4 - turns his back on 'arry when 'arry needs 'im the most, verbally abuses hermione (theres a weird trend here) during the 'ule 'all, he takes an Indian to the aforementioned 'ule 'all and ditches her (nobody harms Indians on my watch, for I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Oh and he gets himself drowned in a lake, during the triwizard tourney. And is a jealous asswipe like the WHOLE TIME.
5 - gets attacked by brains. I didn't quite understand that part, and the movie didn't image-ify it for me, but just let that sink in. Homeboy got attacked by brains, which generally speaking, don't work if they're not "connected" to humans. More shit happens in this book, but I think the brain attack is enough for this one
6 - he eats a love potion, gets poisoned, nearly dies, falls in love with lavender in the worst romance since whatever unholy situation got voldy's parents together, pisses off Hermione (again...)...oyvey, ronnie, get your shit together
7 - throws the biggest hissyfit in the history of the world (even when hitler reneged on the molotov-ribbentrop pact stalin wasn't this pissed), ditches 'arry and 'ermy to go home while they roughed it on in freaking england, but once he comes back he finally helps for the first time in SEVEN YEARS.
I can think of a certain Indian who is far more useful, helpful and intelligent. Where is my Hermione, I want one.
Alrighty, so like a good programmer, I have to un-recurse through this mess to figure out what just happened.
Okay, so i brought up ron, because Rupert Grint seems pretty awesome, and I brought him up because he has an icecream truck where he gives kids icecream. Not even gonna mention how much of a recruiting advantage he would give Penn State - whoops just did. You can play at my HAPPY VALLEY, if you know what I mean.
But right, kids with free icecream. So I brought that up, because Mr. (or Mrs., this is the 21st century) SpeshulNeads just went to town splitting up the British Empire, and deserves a reward (as if ruining two entire continents for the rest of eternity wasn't enough of a prize). And we brought that up, because...
Oh, because Hotel Rwanda. Damn that's a depressing movie.
Bringing us full circle to the Arshavin pic. Always classy, always appropriate, always from the heart.
Then I think about classes I have to take to graduate, and I just start crying - but not real crying, cuz I'm a man and men don't cry. Except for during Hotel Rwanda, because that was ohmigod depressing as all hell. On the serious, Britain, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to let you split up your empire? It was like they found a specialneeds kid, got him drunk, gave him a paper map and scissors and said "ello guvnah we gots some tea'n'croompets fer ya on the barbie so just do a real good joob and we'll see aboot those fish'n'chips from the ol' cockney shop down the way, but be sure to MIND THE GAP you tosspot!"
And then Ron Weasley came by, but not really Ron Weasley, cuz if it were really Ron Weasley he wouldn't have shown up at all. Because counting on Ron to do something useful is, generally speaking, a Hail-Mary gamble that you use when you're down two goals in the 90' and you have to pull your goalie. Let's be real, you see the 5th youngest redhead child in a family, and you know at that point his genes are coming from the recessive sides of the Punnett square. But yeah, apart from a chess game his first year, and mimicking (read: NOT ORIGINAL CONTENT) Harry's parseltongue at the end of the 7th book, he doesn't do much:
1 - he befriends a random orphan. Seriously, don't %^&$#%&^!@!%#$ talk to strangers, kids.
2 - his wand snaps, his car flies into the woods, his sister opens the chamber of secrets, he loses his wand to FREAKING gilderoy lockhart
3 - it comes to light that he's been harboring a known criminal for more than a decade, he breaks his leg which causes the fellas to lose track of peetah pettigruuuh and lose him...again, he torments hermione and that's just a crime against humanity
4 - turns his back on 'arry when 'arry needs 'im the most, verbally abuses hermione (theres a weird trend here) during the 'ule 'all, he takes an Indian to the aforementioned 'ule 'all and ditches her (nobody harms Indians on my watch, for I am the watcher on the walls. I am the fire that burns against the cold, the light that brings the dawn, the horn that wakes the sleepers, the shield that guards the realms of men. Oh and he gets himself drowned in a lake, during the triwizard tourney. And is a jealous asswipe like the WHOLE TIME.
5 - gets attacked by brains. I didn't quite understand that part, and the movie didn't image-ify it for me, but just let that sink in. Homeboy got attacked by brains, which generally speaking, don't work if they're not "connected" to humans. More shit happens in this book, but I think the brain attack is enough for this one
6 - he eats a love potion, gets poisoned, nearly dies, falls in love with lavender in the worst romance since whatever unholy situation got voldy's parents together, pisses off Hermione (again...)...oyvey, ronnie, get your shit together
7 - throws the biggest hissyfit in the history of the world (even when hitler reneged on the molotov-ribbentrop pact stalin wasn't this pissed), ditches 'arry and 'ermy to go home while they roughed it on in freaking england, but once he comes back he finally helps for the first time in SEVEN YEARS.
I can think of a certain Indian who is far more useful, helpful and intelligent. Where is my Hermione, I want one.
Alrighty, so like a good programmer, I have to un-recurse through this mess to figure out what just happened.
Okay, so i brought up ron, because Rupert Grint seems pretty awesome, and I brought him up because he has an icecream truck where he gives kids icecream. Not even gonna mention how much of a recruiting advantage he would give Penn State - whoops just did. You can play at my HAPPY VALLEY, if you know what I mean.
But right, kids with free icecream. So I brought that up, because Mr. (or Mrs., this is the 21st century) SpeshulNeads just went to town splitting up the British Empire, and deserves a reward (as if ruining two entire continents for the rest of eternity wasn't enough of a prize). And we brought that up, because...
Oh, because Hotel Rwanda. Damn that's a depressing movie.
Bringing us full circle to the Arshavin pic. Always classy, always appropriate, always from the heart.
It's not you, it's me.
Dear John,
I think it's time we starting seeing other people. We've had a good relationship, we started off just friends for a year, but then we made it a serious commitment. These past 3 years have been wonderful and glorious and special to me, and I'll never forget them (or you...ifyaknowwhatimean), but this separation has become too tough for me, and I've moved on. You are out there overseas, (apparently) fighting for our freedoms back home, but it's too hard for me. I've found new people, better people (like Sam...totally like Sam! We're BFFs, as long as BFF stands for "people, who left alone in a room, will carve their own shiv and kill each other") and I just don't think waiting around for you is worth it.
I don't know what else to say, because although I'm the female spouse in this situation, I still have the verbal communication skills of an adult male. Don't ask why, analyzing this situation will only cause you grief and misery. I don't know what else goes into this letter. See, it's funny because its relevant, and your name is John. But you knew that, didnt'cha, Dr. BowlCut!
I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be.
I think it's time I step out of the cupboard, and do whatever that other Indian did.
Like peacefully live on his own land literally in the middle of nowhere, only for white people to give him smallpox.
Yikes this just took a left turn.
JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SINGLE-CELLED CROMAGNON TUB'O'LARD LOOKIN CANADIAN-BACON HUFFIN GUETAPENS!
Looooooooove,
Ashwin
I think it's time we starting seeing other people. We've had a good relationship, we started off just friends for a year, but then we made it a serious commitment. These past 3 years have been wonderful and glorious and special to me, and I'll never forget them (or you...ifyaknowwhatimean), but this separation has become too tough for me, and I've moved on. You are out there overseas, (apparently) fighting for our freedoms back home, but it's too hard for me. I've found new people, better people (like Sam...totally like Sam! We're BFFs, as long as BFF stands for "people, who left alone in a room, will carve their own shiv and kill each other") and I just don't think waiting around for you is worth it.
I don't know what else to say, because although I'm the female spouse in this situation, I still have the verbal communication skills of an adult male. Don't ask why, analyzing this situation will only cause you grief and misery. I don't know what else goes into this letter. See, it's funny because its relevant, and your name is John. But you knew that, didnt'cha, Dr. BowlCut!
I'll love you forever I'll like you for always As long as I'm living My baby you'll be.
I think it's time I step out of the cupboard, and do whatever that other Indian did.
Like peacefully live on his own land literally in the middle of nowhere, only for white people to give him smallpox.
Yikes this just took a left turn.
JUST LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU SINGLE-CELLED CROMAGNON TUB'O'LARD LOOKIN CANADIAN-BACON HUFFIN GUETAPENS!
Looooooooove,
Ashwin
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